#Let Kyle Top 2024

[asteria7fics]

I am absolutely in the mood to read an essay about Kyle's portrayal in fanwork 👀 i could read South Park analysis till the cows come home

Alright alright I’m ready to get into this haha.

A couple of things before I start, everything I’m about to say is just my opinion, yeah? I’m no expert, I just think that the way the fandom treats Kyle in a lot of circumstances is… questionable :)

Oookay, let’s GO!

So believe it or not, I don’t actually read a ton of fanfiction. I don’t really have time these days, and when I do I’m so painfully picky about the way certain characters are portrayed that it’s very hard for me to find fics I really vibe with. That being said, I see a lotta shit on this fine website.

Let’s get the obvious shit out of the way. I do not think Kyle should be the default bottom in ANY ship. If we wanna really get into it, my personal take is that this is a holdover from yaoi/fujoshi culture that is so painfully steeped in heteronormative bullshit of one person needing to be the ‘dominant’ and one needing to be the ‘submissive’ even outside of the context of kink. Essentially, one character has to be the ‘girl’ and one has to be the ‘boy’, even in a homosexual relationship.

I’ve blabbed about this before, but I don’t think I’ve ever talked about why I don’t think that Kyle should be the default ‘submissive’ in his relationships.

First of all, Kyle is just not submissive. At all. Or I should say, he isn’t often. I think the only context where he tends to submit is with his mother, and if you really want to sit here and defend your choice based on him having ‘mommy issues’, I guess you can technically say that.

Personally, I see Kyle as being very headstrong and, honestly kinda intense. While this hasn’t always been super consistent in his personality early on in the show’s run, it’s certainly has been now. I mean, he was willing to shoot at his friends’ moms in The End of Obesity because he believed so strongly in what he was doing, and why he was doing it. Kyle’s stubbornness and unwillingness to waver on his morals and values is a driving force for conflict in the show, like, all the fucking time, whether he’s correct (as in, the creators agree with his stance) or not.

I bring up his personality in the early run because I do think a lot of the issues I have with his characterization now comes more from early fandom portrayals than anything that’s actually currently supported by the source material. As an example, Kyle being the weakest physically of the main four makes a lot of sense in the context of those early seasons, but it doesn’t really work with his current characterization, if I’m being honest.

This isn’t to say I dislike him being sickly, mind you. I actually think that can be really compelling if Kyle has to grapple with the fact that his physical weakness is at odds with his mental strength.

Hoooowever, I think this has to be done in a really specific way, and this sorta brings me to my next point.

Why are we out here victimizing Kyle so damn much? Like, I get it, bad shit happens to him in the show (don’t talk to me about Humancentipad) but why are we just tormenting Kyle for seemingly no reason? Are we in the middle of a dead dove arms race?

I do think this ties back to this idea of Kyle being a default submissive, and I’ve certainly not always been kind to the kid in my own work but damn you guys are fucking mean to him. What did he ever do to you??

I suppose tormenting characters is sort of… par for the course in any fandom, but man I just don’t see the appeal of it being Kyle that’s getting the brunt of the abuse, especially when he ends up being reduced to a helpless, pathetic little thing. Like at that point just pick a different character, I mean Butters is right there you guys.

I’m not going to act like any one ship leans more or less into these tropes either, I think all sides of the fandom are guilty of disregarding a lot of what makes Kyle’s character compelling in the show. I will, however, take a moment to complain about some of the popular ships that Kyle is in.

Kyman: You know how I feel about these two. A stellar dynamic with so much problematic shit bubbling under the surface. Let’s disregard the inherent discomfort around an open anti-Semite and a Jewish person being together because… I willingly ignore that to ship Yentlman in my main works (rip self read). Even without that bit of their relationship, these two are just too goddamn similar. Both stubborn, both going to extreme lengths to prove the other wrong, OR enabling one another to do some pretty shitty things.

I think Post Covid did it best by showing how they BOTH bring out the worst in one another. While I enjoy these two platonically, I don’t personally enjoy romantic ships that are this toxic.

I’ve also expressed before that I think a fic lives and dies on how Cartman is written, so while this post is about Kyle’s depictions in fan works, I do think we have to consider the way the other half of a pair is written as well.

I got some really lovely tags on that one post I reblogged and word vomited all over that brought up how Cartman, supported by canon, is a severely traumatized individual, and how that can support a more sympathetic view of him (I’m not tagging the person in case they don’t want to be involved in discourse like this but I appreciate your insights and you made a very good point, if you are reading this).

This does, however, bring up a whole other host of issues with their dynamic. If we’re romanticizing the idea that Kyle is some kind of moral savior for Cartman then… man, idk. You guys are gonna have to help me on this one, is that common in the ship? Is Kyle playing therapist with Cartman, and that’s how we’re justifying sanitizing him?

Also, say it with me now, there is no way in sand hell that Kyle would let Cartman top him. I know, I’ve read it, and I can see where the idea is coming from but come on. Kyle is too prideful for that shit. Now if y’all start giving me Kyle topping Cartman and making him fucking beg for that hot Jew sploog then MAYBE I’d be able to get behind this ship.

Style: Oh you thought my preferred ship was safe? Haha no ma’am, because Style shippers are the fucking WORST when it comes to feminizing Kyle.

I respect the Style shippers that came before me with their football star Stan and pissbaby twink Kyle, I really do. However it’s time to move on. I made this point in a previous post (that I know you’ve seen my friend, much love for your support on my hot takes) but for those who didn’t see it, I really believe the thing that separates Kyman shippers from Style shippers is that Kyman shippers tend to treat Kyle like an equal to Cartman, while Style shippers really lean on Kyle being weaker than Stan to make their dynamics work.

What’s really funny to me is that what I think makes Style work in its best iterations is when they are truly treated as equals, because they absolutely should be.

Now I may sound like a hypocrite here because I know I play around with power dynamics in my Styles quite a bit, but I think I make it very clear that even when Kyle is technically bottoming, he is not necessarily submitting.

I also can give credit where credit is due, Kyman shippers do not shy away from how much of an asshole Kyle can be sometimes. Style shippers though? Man, I understand wanting to lean more on Kyle's positive traits (he IS a very empathetic, friendly, driven person that always wants to do the right thing) but he can become 'too good' very quickly when you don't balance those things out with his negative traits.

Kyle is pretentious. Kyle thinks he knows best even when he really doesn't. Kyle is quick to anger and sometimes cares TOO much, to the point of getting carried away and making things worse (rip to Canada).

The only negative trait Style shippers are pretty consistently on board with is him being hotheaded, which is fair! But also? To stay consistent with my current branding, that's like seasoning all of your food with just salt and pepper. Like sure, it adds flavor, but we all know the dish could taste so much better if you sprinkle on a little something more.

K2: I am... Utterly indifferent to this ship. Like, I've seen some cute fanart? But I've never partaken and it doesn't really interest me, sorry gang.

Cryle: Another ship I've never really partaken in, but that makes significantly less sense to me. It's giving crack ship, which is fine? But from what I have consumed a lot of people sort of approach them with all the worst aspects of both Kyman and Style. Craig is not as compelling as Cartman as a foil for Kyle, so when people do lean into the evil Craig headcanon that was common in early fandom, it seems they also lean into the pathetic, victim Kyle tropes that are common in Style works.

I'm sorry if y'all love this ship, I'd never really paid it any mind until recently and while I have read works that included them that I thoroughly enjoyed, I don't think I'll ever root for them to be endgame.

And if your favorite Kyle ship isn't here, sorry to say I don't know enough to speak on them (in fact I shouldn't have even brought up K2 for that reason, but I figured someone would probably mention it since it seems pretty popular).

Look, this is a mess and I am certainly not the authority on characterizing any of these goobers. But you asked, and I hope you enjoyed my silly little opinions. This is in no way meant to be constructive, but if you guys want something more organized and constructive breaking down how I characterize Kyle or any of the kids, you know where to ask!

[reiderwriter]

💢 At Each Other's Throats 💢

Spencer Reid x female! Reader

For the CM Kink Bingo Challenge 2024

Summary: A previous encounter means that you're not the biggest fan of Spencer Reid, and you go to some extreme lengths to prove that to him.

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, Dom! Spencer, but not exactly sub reader , degradation (use of whore, slut), semi-public foreplay, arguing as foreplay etc, oral sex (m receiving, f mentions, too), face fucking, rimming, nipple play, rough sex/ rough play, spanking, slapping, spitting, choking, messy sex, creampie, multiple orgasms, mentions of painful sex/ pain play etc. some possible CNC triggers/ phrasing.

A/N: I couldn't find a gift of Spencer being bitchy enough, so everyone, please enjoy Kyle Orfman from Life After Beth. This one was a labour of love, if love was actually hate. It's 2am. This is obviously not edited, and may never be.

Masterlist || Bingo Board

You knew from reputation alone that you would have a hard time working with Spencer Reid. Perhaps it was the slew of child prodigy articles that popped up alongside his name. Maybe it was even just your preconceived notion of what men with three PhDs, a badge, and a gun were like. Maybe it was the fact that he'd written to you after one of your first professional articles was published in The American Journal of Forensic Medicine and Pathology and told you a piece you'd worked on for 18 months was just plain wrong. 

Either way, you laid eyes on him, and the hatred was cemented. But fuck was he hot. 

He had no clue who you were as his boss introduced you to him, looking between the two of you as if expecting good things to happen. You should've warned him. 

“Spencer, this is Y/N. She'll be assisting on a few cases from this month onwards.” 

His eyes glazed over as he ran your name through whatever roller index of memories he had stored in there. 

“Y/N is a lecturer at the University of Virginia. She's going to be lecturing at the FBI Academy from September onwards-” 

“You! You wrote an article, I wrote to you about it, did you get my le-”

“Yes, I got your letter. I believe you called my writing ‘juvenile’ and my thinking ‘wishful,’ and that if I had any actual field experience, I'd slowly understand how many mistakes there were in my writing.” 

Agent Hotchner took an almost imperceptible deep breath in, trying to hide the fact that this was all new information to him. 

“Well, here I am, Doctor Reid.” 

The man in front of you gaped for a moment, letting his mouth hang open, closing after a few seconds only to open again. Perhaps you'd disorganized that index of his. You hoped you'd set the goddamn thing alight. 

“Shall we get started?”

To say that you'd gotten off to a bad start was an understatement. Your start had been reversed over by a dump truck with no tires. It had been cemented into the ground with no chance of going anywhere but down into the pits of hell. 

Which is, coincidentally, where you found yourself every time you had to engage Spencer Reid in conversation. 

Your first impression of his looks - his incredibly good looks - was that he was even better looking when he was pensive, and unhappy, and being bitchy. He was positively climbable when argumentative, and you liked nothing more than ruining his day, if just for the fact that he'd angrily loosen his tie and pop open his top buttons, exposing the pale white of his neck, and his sharp collar bones, perfectly ready for someone to suck and nip at. 

He was still an ass, however, and you couldn't bring yourself to sink to those depths.

Four cases in, and you hadn't agreed on one thing. You'd caught a serial arsonist, who he had demanded was most likely an office worker, but you'd countered with college student, and you had prevailed there. 1-0. 

Then, unfortunately, you'd lost back to back cases with unsubs in the trucking industry, unfamiliar with and uninterested in the life of the Jack Kerouac type. 

You'd even the playing field at last with a child abduction. And although you knew you'd both been keeping score, you were so genuinely happy for this case to be over. A child was safe at home, and you'd worked so well under pressure (something he had assured you would change your view of your personal forensic psychology theories). 2-2. 

Of course, those were just the big leagues. You'd fought many petty battles, too, as the war waged. 

You'd accidentally stolen his place on the jet, enjoying the long bench seat for a good few naps. A few times, he'd settled in next to you, trying to nudge you out of the chair completely, but you'd held your ground. 

“This is my seat. Usually. There are like 10 other places on this jet to sit. Why does it have to be here?” He'd grumbled into your ear as you gently elbowed him in the side, accidentally, of course.

“There aren't assigned seats. Maybe you have control issues, Doctor,” you cut back, trying to avoid speaking too loud to avoid the ire of the group. 

While you'd enjoyed bickering with - and intellectually besting - Spencer greatly, it did seem that the sentiment wasn't shared by those around you. 

“You can't be serious, right now,” Morgan complained from a seat opposite. “You're seriously fighting over a seat, right now?” 

“It's my seat, Derek, come on, you know it's my seat.” 

The look returned to Spencer almost had you ashamed of your petty actions. 

“I swear they're just taking every advantage to get closer and closer together. Next thing you know, she'll be sitting in his lap,” Emily said from the corner of the plane, so obviously not talking to you that you were almost offended. 

“Ah, young infatuation,” Rossi replied, still ignoring you. 

Reid slinked just slightly away after that, and you weren't sure if you were more annoyed at the comments themselves or the loss of his annoying companionship. 

You wanted him to bother you because it meant you'd succeeded in bothering him. 

You'd had more than your fair share of rather explosive arguments as well. 

“You can't seriously believe that Thomas Edison did more for the field of engineering than Nikola Tesla,” he'd shouted at you at a bar after a case had landed you in paperwork hell, filling out forms and working into the late hours. 

A drink had been suggested, a celebration after solving four straight cases in a row, and you'd gladly taken the chance to unwind. 

“Spencer, we're literally sat in a bar decorated with multiple light bulbs. Look, there's one. Another! Astounding. Thank you, Mr Edison.” 

“And none of it would be possible without Alternating Current, so yes. Thank you, Mr Tesla.” 

Your teammates had long since abandoned you to your petty bickering and fighting amongst yourselves. They'd stopped getting involved when Penelope had tried to mediate your discussion about Doctor Who, which had quickly devolved into New Who vs Old Who. 

You didn't even care strongly either way, you just cared that he did. And however he felt, you were sure as hell ready to take up arms against him. Because it was so fuckimg hot watching him lose his shit. 

You were a grown woman. You could admit that to yourself. You likely wouldn't admit it to anyone else, even if it was as clear as day that you found him unbearable attractive at times. You sure as hell knew that it wasn't a one-way street, from the way his eyes strolled across your body each morning. 

You wondered if there was a section of his brain that was dedicated to memorising everything you'd said, done, and worn since he'd met you. You hoped there was. 

On your fifth and final case with the BAU team, you felt unmatched in your annoyance. 

You were still drawn with Spencer for case breakthroughs, and you felt the need to beat him once again just to nail the point home. He was just stubborn enough to see a 3-2 win as a landslide victory for himself, though you were absolutely going to frame it that way yourself if you managed to be the one to crack everything. 

All sense of teamwork and camaraderie was off the table. 

You had a murderer to catch.

Three women, beaten, assaulted, and tied up. He'd shorn their hair but bagged them up so they were unseen. Then he'd placed the bags on display. The unsub was caught between two extremes, hatred of his victims, and gentleness, protecting their dignity in death by covering them up. 

Obviously, you and Spencer had to decide which side of the debate you were to land on.

“I think we're dealing with a killer without remorse here. It's easier to explain the covering, the dressing of the women as a ritual rather than guilt.” 

He'd finally played his cards, and now it was your turn to passionately wipe them from the table. 

“Remorse? He's cut all their hair off and beat half of them so badly we needed dental to identify them. And in case you've forgotten Spencer, half of them are prostitutes.”

“You're saying he can't feel remorse for killing prostitutes?”

“That is not what I'm saying. Don't twist my words."

“Well, of you'd said something that wasn't nonsensical, I'd have a better chance of understanding what the hell you're trying to say!’

With every line you'd stepped closer and closer to one another, like two boxers in a ring, sizing each other up before a fight. 

You wanted to take his tie and strangle him with it. You wanted to pull him down for a kiss and force him to shut the hell up. 

“Reid, Y/N, both of you take five,” Hotch called sternly from the other side of the room. Guiltily, you both broke away from one another, his hand brushing your side as you took a step back, almost as if he'd meant to grab you before Hotch stepped in. 

Probably to remove you from the room. 

“Take five?” You said, mustering all the disappointment you could as you silently pleaded to stick around. 

“Go back to the motel and get some rest. If you're going to argue like this, I don't need you at the precinct, and I certainly don't need you on my team.” 

You blanched at that, almost taken aback by the harsh words as you silently nodded and quietly walked towards the door, letting it shut behind you. 

Spencer stayed behind, and though you couldn't hear his arguments, you knew he was attempting to reason with Hotch, as well. It evidently didn't work as he stormed out of the room behind you. 

He looked half like a kicked puppy, half like an angry school kid who'd just been scolded by a teacher. 

“Don't look at me like that, this is your fault,” you muttered as you walked away from the room. 

“What? How is this my fault?” 

“If you weren't so goddamn infuriating, we'd be able to get some actual work done.” 

You marched off in the direction of the exit, but he caught your shoulder before you made it that far.

“You're blaming me? This is my job, Y/N, not yours. You get to go back to a cushy little office after this is done to teach the people that are going to end up doing the paperwork that consists of only 2% of our job.”

His finger jabbed at your shoulder as he said the words, and you had to resist the temptation to grab it. 

“Doesn't feel too good to be criticized when you're just doing your job, huh, Spencer?” 

His brows knitted together in a deepened scowl and he took a step forward. 

But there were eyes on you, and whatever confrontation this was, you didn't want to act it out in front of an office full of cops. 

You turned and walked away again, down a seemingly abandoned hall to what looked to be an empty storage cupboard, flinging the light on and waiting the three seconds it took him to catch up with you. 

“What's your problem?” He said, joining you in the cramped closet. 

“You! You're the problem! You're infuriating, and annoying, and most important, you're you!” You poked his chest back, harder than he had earlier, quietly reveling in the feel of his body under your fingertip. 

“Oh, I'm sorry. Would you like me to be someone different? Someone who worships the ground you walk on?” He said, discovering sarcasm for the first time since you'd been introduced. 

“Sure, Spencer, if you can take tour head out of your own ass long enough to worship someone else, then be my guest.” 

With a single push he crowded you against the wall, a hand above your head locking you into position as his other hand held your hip, his own hips joining you at the wall as you sucked in a breath. 

“You're begging to hear praise, right now, Y/N. Do you even hear yourself?” He asked, whispering the words directly into your ear. 

“W-Well, you have me pressed up against the wall like some fucking caveman that needs to breed or die.” You spent half the time you were talking trying to compensate for the stutter, trying not to look weak, that you totally missed the words that came from your own mouth. 

“You think I want to have sex with you?” He asked, chuckling awkwardly, even as his hand on your hip began rubbing circles, his head hanging lower, just inches away from your mouths meeting. 

“I think you'd love nothing more,” you said, finally lifting your hands to his hair and tucking a lock behind his ears. “Such a shame I won't be crawling into your bed.” 

“Is that a challenge?” He asked, and you were taken aback for a few seconds. 

“You want me so fucking bad, you're trying to convince yoursel-”

With a swoop, he cut you off, his lips meeting yours. You gasped and allowed his tongue to enter your mouth, but you came to your senses quickly. You kissed back with all the anger of the last month and all the attraction that had built up since you'd joined the team. Your tongue fought his, your hands tangled in his hair as his pulled them out, pinning them against a wall. But you slipped free and grabbed him again, grabbing the tie you'd wanted to choke him with earlier and not letting go. 

His lips were soft, and his body felt hot pressed against you, and you hated how good he was at all of this, how your body responded to his, how each time you pulled away it was with a small whimper as you begged for more. 

“I knew you wanted me,” he said, between kisses, grabbing your face and tilting it up as he returned his tongue to yours. 

“Oh, shut the fuck up, you kissed me first.” His hands trailed up your hips, untucking your shirt as he pushed his hand under, his cold fingers sending a trail of goosebumps along your skin as you shuddered. 

“I kissed you because you begged me to,” he said, his fingers caressing the bottom of your chest as he tried to press your bra up further. 

You were about to argue back when his lips met yours again, and you were lost in the haze of arousal, leg lifting to his hip to better allow him space to settle against you. 

You grew wilder in your passion, neither of you giving in even for one second as you writhed against each other, begging for satisfaction while denying that you'd ever wanted each other in the first place. Just as it became unbearable, your hands slipping to his belt, ready to pull his cock free and take it, the door opened again. 

“Reid, Y/N,” Morgan said from the doorway as you hastily jumped away from each other. 

You pulled your shirt down quickly, and Spencer stepped behind you, covering up the tent in his pants as you stared guiltily up at Derek Morgan. 

“Hotch sent me after you to give you the keys to the SUV,” he grumbled, making no comment on anything that happened. 

“We were just, um, we were just-” your brain fought for an excuse, but you'd left your brain behind somewhere between joining the BAU and foreplay with Spencer in a closet, so words escaped you. 

“You were just making out in a closet. It's okay, we all know,” Derek said, turning to leave. 

You jumped up, indignant now he'd brushed you off, and followed him out of the closet, an equally shocked Spencer trailing behind you. 

“What do you mean you all know? All know what?” You said, stomping back into the office. 

“That you two are into each other. It's why Hotch sent you away earlier. He didn't want to see the two of you going at it,” he said, pressing the car keys into your hands. 

“We are not into each other,” Spencer shouted back at Morgan as he stalked off, and you glared at him to shut his mouth. There was a crowd forming, and you still didn't need that attention. Not when your hair was matted from seven minutes in hell with Spencer or when his hand had, once again, settled on your hip, pulling you closer into him. 

“Let's go,” you huffed, and finally left the building with Spencer right behind you. 

You didn't talk for the rest of the drive home, even as your brain flooded itself with images of him taking you in the back of the car, your lips around his dick as he drove, him pulling over to bend you over the hood. 

You went straight to your separate rooms when you got back to the motel, though you swore that the walls were thin enough that he surely heard you pleasure yourself, fingers sinking into yourself. You weren't sure if he, too, had his hand wrapped around his cock, or if your brain was just now imagining whatever it liked to spur you on. 

Imagined or real, his moans were delicious, a maddening mix of frustration, exasperation and desperation, whimpers and groans, and small growls until you yourself were cumming, and letting yourself sleep.

You avoided talking, all talking, until the end of the case, even as your head replayed his infuriating words, his moans and the rustling sound of his fingers pressing your shirt up. You refused to talk to him to give his coworkers the validation of arguing with him once more. You weren't into each other. 

You simply wanted to fuck him. You didn't like him as a person otherwise. 

In avoiding him, though, the small taste of release you'd sampled in the closet had your softer parts deliriously wanting more. As much as you hated Spencer, you needed him so bad. 

You'd given him the cold shoulder  but he'd returned it just as quickly, and you were more annoyed not talking to him than you weren't. 

Your last case wrapped up, and you decided it was time to give him what he so obviously wanted. A conversation. 

You sat yourself right back down in his seat as you got on the jet and laid down, pulling his blanket over yourself as you took up the entire space. 

The others shook their heads at you as they walked on, Spencer taking up the rear. His eyes met yours, and he scowled, and you couldn't help but wonder if he'd look like that fucking you, so stern and angry. 

You sighed and pushed onto your side as he stood over you. 

“That's my seat.” 

You smiled in success as you looked over your shoulder. 

“I'm tired, I'm going to sleep.” 

“But that is my seat-” 

“Spencer, you've sat on every seat on this damn plane before, that wasn't your seat until last month, now sit down, shut up and let me rest,” JJ exploded and you suddenly felt bad for drawing him into your argument.  Or you did until you sat up a bit, and he sat himself right down where your head had been. 

“Spencer!”

“I give up…” JJ groaned from the table seats, pulling headphones over her head and shutting her eyes, and the others made to ignore you similarly. 

Not one to be beaten, you pushed the book in his hands off his lap and laid your head down again, now cushioned by his legs. 

“What-” his voice squeaked as you shut your eyes, too, and made yourself comfortable. He didn't push you off, or, heaven forbid, start talking to you again. Shockingly, he adjusted to the position quickly and resigned himself to pillow duty for the six hour flight. 

You, too, shocked yourself by how fast you fell asleep. You woke up with his hands in your hair, stroking your head as he read, book in one hand, you in the other. His hands felt wonderful, raking through your long locks, brushing each errant hair off your face. 

“Spencer?” You said, voice still thick with sleep. 

His hand shot away, and you almost regretted not pretending to sleep for longer, sure that he'd have gone on if you hadn't said anything. 

You straightened and cleared your own throat as you stretched, sitting quietly as you listened to the flight landing announcement. 

“Congrats, Y/N, you've successfully finished your time with the BAU,” Rossi said from his seat opposite you, strapping in for the landing.

“And you haven't been shot, kidnapped, or slapped. That's gotta be a first, right?” Emily joked from the corner. 

You smiled quietly as you strapped yourself down, scooting even closer to Spencer now to get your belt fastened.

Still, you couldn't resist the urge to mumble a retort.

“I'm sure Spencer thought about it a few times,” you sighed, a breath of resignation releasing from your lips dramatically.

The others chuckled, but Spencer sat silently next to you until the jet landed. 

He stayed quiet as he began to pack his things, but it became clear quickly that he was dragging everything out. As the plane emptied, you shot him a curious look, not daring to speak until you were the last two on the plane. 

“You're being slow today.” 

“I've never thought about shooting you or kidnapping you,” he said, voice low and quiet, even though you were alone. 

“It was a joke, Spencer,” you started, so sick of him taking g everything so seriously. You made to walk past him, but as you did, you felt his hand on your waist pulling you back as another hand came hard and fast at your ass. 

“I wasn't finished speaking,” he said as his hand ran over your butt, soothing the pain he'd just delivered. “I have thought about slapping you, though.” 

With that he grabbed his bag and stalked off the jet, not bothering to cast another look behind him. 

Two could play at that game. 

In about the most childish was you could muster, you ran ahead of him, staying three paces directly in front of him as he tried to overtake you. You moved when he moved. You sped up when he sped up. You even stopped a few times, so he'd run into you. 

“Y/N, cut it out.”

“Make me,” you said, throwing a withering look over your shoulder. 

He didn't wither. 

Instead, he grabbed your arm and marched you all the way through the FBI building, down to the parking lot, and into your car. As soon as he had you safely in the driver's seat, he closed the door, pulling off your visitors' pass. 

“I'll return this for you, no need for you to dally.” 

“Fuck you,” you spat out the window as you started the ignition. 

“It's been a pleasure,” he said with a grimace. 

“No, it hasn't,” you said back, wondering how long you'd spend in jail of you just mowed him down then and there. 

“You’re right. It hasn't,” he said, leaning down and into the window so you were now eye to eye. 

“Really? It seems like you got a lot of pleasure out of spanking me earlier. You were certainly experiencing a lot of pleasure when you pushed me up against a wall last week. If it wasn't pleasure, there was definitely something long-”

“Long?” He smirked.

“And hard in your pants.” 

He leaned in through the window, his breath fanning against your cheeks as he whispered into your ear. 

“That was my gun.” 

“And I certainly won't be helping you fire a load,” you said, starting the ignition and pushing him back from the window as you drove away from the FBI and away from Spencer Reid. 

It infuriated him that you'd gotten the last word. You'd spent a month with him and hadn't even given him a chance to show off his good qualities, and then you'd left without giving him a chance to prove himself. 

And, in doing so, you'd told a blatant lie. 

There had been two people in that closet, two people with tongues desperate for contact, eager for battle. You'd been moaning just as much as he had when his hands found your nipples. 

But you'd gotten to drive away without listening to his retort, and it was killing him. 

He sat and seethed at his desk for a while, waiting for the sense of relief that you were gone to wash over him. This had been what he wanted for weeks. Why was he now so discontent? Why did everything feel wrong? 

Abandoning paperwork he knew wouldn't be needed until at least next week, Spencer found your address in the team files, wrote it down, and left his desk. 

When you got home, there was nothing waiting for you. 

It was annoying. You'd spent the last month constantly on the go, always with more work, more cases, more paperwork. You'd killed any apparent gaps with Spencer. 

You could still feel his hands on your ass. You hated to admit it, but in your short acquaintance with Doctor Asshat, you'd grown fond of having him around as eye candy. When he wasn't being annoying (talking, breathing, or generally just being), you could quite happily imagine his head buried between your legs, his tongue lapping up every drop of cum you had to offer. 

There were definitely better things he could be doing with his mouth, in any case. 

Your body felt hot, itchy, and neglected as you got home, running a shower immediately and stepping in. 

The water was hot, and the room steamed up faster than you expected. You washed away the fatigue, and you washed away the dirt of a month of cheap motels.. 

Just as you were about to wash away the memories of Spencer Reid and his stupidly skilful tongue, the doorbell rang. 

It wasn't unusual for you to get visitors at 10 pm, but usually they announced themselves. 

You stayed put in the shower. It was probably a package you'd ordered, and it could honestly wait. 

The ringing, though, didn't stop. Whoever was at your door was insistent. First, the door rang to the rhythm of jingle bells. Then, they moved on to Fur Elise. When they got to Flight of the Bumblebees Levels of bullshit, you couldn't stand it anymore. 

You wrapped a towel around you and pulled the door open wide. 

“Sp- mm?” You said, shocked to see him there, but completely floored by his appearance, and more importantly the two hands he'd planted on your cheeks as he pulled you in for a hot, hard, and fast kiss. 

You pushed him off with a hard slap to his face, and stalked further into your apartment, knowing he'd follow closely behind.

You heard the door slam shut as he made to grab you again, but you stayed just out of reach. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” 

“I came because neither of us will move on without this.”

“Oh, you need me so much you won't be able to move on if you don't fuck me?” You scoffed, expecting a sarcastic answer to a sarcastic question. 

“Yes,” he said, and your shock at his earnestness gave him the moment he needed to grab at you again. 

This time, though, the tiny towel that had been holding your dignity in place dropped to the floor as Spencer Reid pinned you against the wall. 

“Already fucking bare and wet for me, how well-behaved.”

“Go fuck yourself!” you said, even as his hands cupped your breasts, grabbing and pulling both of your nipples, making you moan.

“See, your mouth is being a bitch, but your body is being a whore.” 

“Just fuck me won't you? No need to run your mouth.” 

“I think we're finally in agreement on something,” he said, pushing you to your knees. 

“What? Sp-” 

In one quick swoop he released his cock from his pants and wrapped a hand around all of your hair as he slid it down your waiting throat. 

As much as you protested, your mouth was wide open, and your hands wrapped around him just as eagerly. 

Holding your head still, Spencer began to talk as he fucked your throat. 

“There we go. That's exactly how I've needed you for the last month.”

You glared at him as you sank your nails into his thighs, gagging on his cock as he picked up his pace.

With two taps on his leg, you requested a moment, and he quickly pulled his dick out of your mouth. 

You coughed quickly, then spat out all of your accumulated drool before looking up at him. 

Part of you wanted to force him down next to you, to make him taste your cunt the way you'd thought about earlier. The other part, the larger part, was excited about him using you. 

He grabbed his dick and slapped your face with it, returning your earlier hit. He was waiting for you to open up again so he could cum down your throat and leave. 

“Open,” he demanded. 

You didn't comply, but you stuck out your tongue, lapping at his tip slowly as you sat on your hands. He held his breath as you kissed the underside of his shaft, making his way to his balls. You reached them and finally sucked them into your mouth, making sure to look up and make eye contact with him as you toyed with his private place.

He didn't argue or complain. Instead he fisted a hand into your hair and dragged you to your bedroom. 

Divesting himself of his pants and shirt, he sat down and, still on all fours, pushed your face back into his crotch. Perched on the edge of your bed, he held his cock up and served himself to you. 

“Well? Get back to it, Y/N.” 

Your tongue found his cock first as his hands massaged his balls, playing with them gently as you licked all the way to his tip then buried yourself between his asscheeks. You licked at the skin between his ass and balls, you tasted every inch of him, and you grew angry that he still hadn't done this for you. 

Against his wished, you rose and spat on his cock, before squeezing it hard. 

“Spencer, are you going to fuck me or are you just going to ruin my makeup?” 

“You look prettier with spit coating your face than you've looked with any lipstick,” he said as you pushed him down onto the bed and grabbed his cock. 

Straddling his waist, you were surprised he.let you sink down onto his cock without so much as another word. You felt him fill you up, one inch, then another until you sat fully sheathed on top of him. 

And then he flipped you over so he was back in control. 

“Son of a bitch,” you muttered as he pulled out and thrust back in. 

“You wanted me to fuck you, I'm fucking you.”

You wanted to argue but all you could do was moan yes as he set a furious pace, thumb and forefinger pinching your clit as you bucked into him wildly.

You couldn't stand too much of this, knowing that you wanted to at least outlast him. You wanted to tell him how pathetic he was for cumming first, you wanted to gloat that he'd wanted you more, that he couldn't resist breeding your hot wet cunt. You knew any more of this, though, and you would instead be on the receiving end of those same taunts. 

Pushing against his chest, you used the last of your strength to flip him over again. He struggled, though, stronger than you were expecting, and you rolled together like that for a few moments.

You almost went crashing to the floor as he fought for control, but he pushed a foot off the bed and held you up with his lower body strength. The new position though forced his cock deeper, to just the right angle, and when he thrust into you again, you did something you'd never done before during sex. 

You screamed your pleasure. 

Your orgasm ripped through you, as painful as it was pleasurable, and you grabbed Spencer Reid by the neck and forced his tongue to meet yours. 

He couldn't complain, too busy moaning about your hot, wet, and now tighter cunt to worry about whether he should be kissing you. 

He pulled back and picked his pace right back up, but this time, you resisted less. Hooking a hand under your legs, he pressed your legs up, pushing his stomach and chest down just above your own as he moved slower but harder. 

You wondered if this was what other wen talked about when they said they wanted someone to beat their pussy up, to use them until they couldn't stand. You didn't think you could even think about walking again for the next month as he spread your knees apart and pinned them to the bed, unloading his cum as deep inside you as anything had ever been.

You didn't even know your body bent that way. 

Panting, he collapsed on top of you and buried his head in your shoulder, mumbling and muttering to himself as he came down from his ecstasy. 

He didn't pull out. He barely even softened as he kissed across the expanse of your throat, thrusting shallowly with each nip, until your body couldn't take anymore. 

He picked a spot and sucked, and licked and bit and soothed as he ended one round, and began another. 

“Spencer-” you said, gasping as he sat up, his cock once again standing at attention, filling you still. 

“No. Stop. Don't talk, we're not good when we talk.” 

You nodded and pulled him back for another kiss, wrapping a hand around his throat and pressing hard as he moaned and groaned into you. 

Still wet and slippery and sensitive from your first attempt, neither of you lasted long, falling to the bed when it was all over with a grunt of overexertion. 

“That was…” you said, stopping there, for once totally speechless.

“That was good?” He supplied, but just good wasn't enough. 

“Yes,” you agreed, though, not willing to let your cunt rule your mind when around him.

Anymore, at least. 

“We should… we should probably never speak again,” you said, even as your hand reached out for his, fingers tangling. 

“Of course. I'll leave, and we won't ever speak again,” he said, stroking your hand with his thumb, bringing your clasped hands to his mouth and pressing a kiss to your hand.

“You haven't left yet.” 

“I haven't.”

“I have nowhere to be tomorrow,” you said. “You don't…”

“I won't leave yet. We might as well enjoy this,” he said, propping himself up on his elbows as he looked over your naked body. 

“We should definitely just get this out of our systems now. What's the harm in that?” 

“I agree. If we're committing to a one time thing, we might as well go all in.”

“Exactly,” you said. 

“Exactly,” he parrotted.

Exactly a year later, the members of the BAU received invitations in the post to your wedding. Because the both of you had convinced yourself that that one time had never ended and never had need to. 

[youaresimplylovely]

where's the trophy? he just comes running over to me .ᐟ - lh 44

After a hundred fucking three races, and nine hundred twenty two races since Lewis won. He won finally, but most especially the British Grand Prix. Sure, people would tease you and make fun of you with words such as "he's out of his game", "he's lost", "why even date him?" but did you listen? no. never.

British Grand Prix 2024, most awaited race of the season, your gut and instincts were never wrong and Lewis is still amazed by that. Which is why when Lewis was topping during free practices you never doubted him once. God, you prayed so hard that Mercedes wouldn't touch the car and they didn't.

Most especially, Saturday, Qualifying Day. You were beyond ecstasy, you could've sworn you and Lewis' mom practically screamed and jumped from happiness, but hey let's not jump into conclusions. Max said, classic Max.

Race Day was the most waited ever, during the race you were flush of emotions, and Lewis' brother making fun of you (in a good way) wasn't helpful. From tears, to frown, to anger you had every emotion especially when Lewis would lead the race━well you've learned not to expect but what kind of wag would you be if you didn't.

Chequered flag, the world around you froze, all you could think about was Lewis, the whole garage screamed from joy and happiness, you just stood there smiling and crying. You were so proud, everyone was.

Sadly you weren't able to greet Lewis, you had to go upfront to save positions and so you and Lewis' family were actually in front. Then it started, you smile happily as you blow Lewis a kiss from above as he winks at you, smiling back with pure love.

Eventually, they started giving the trophies and medals. Suddenly when Pete Kyle MP was about to hand the trophy and give Lewis the medal he ran away. He ran downstairs, downstairs to you. Sure, it was probably against the rules but when has Lewis ever followed the rules?

You couldn't believe it, Lewis' mom who had her arm wrapped around yours smiled, her soft voice making your ears perk as everyone tries to find Lewis.

"where's the trophy? he just comes running over to me " you giggle, seeing Lewis run to you. His large soft hands cup your face, he stares into your eyes for a few moments before he presses his lips against yours. "Who the hell needs that trophy when i have you? My trophy." He murmurs, arms wrapping around you as he pulls you out of the barrier and into his arms.

That was a record moment for podium ceremonies in F1, cameras everywhere took pictures and recorded the moment. F1 didn't seem to care, you were the his trophy, the trophy of the winning race well to Lewis. No wonder why you're the best and favorite wag ever.

a/n: im back! might do a smau sequel for this ><

[narcoticv3nus]

© all work and content posted are the property of narciticv3nus 2024. It is strictly prohibited to alter or repost them under any circumstances. do not replicate or assert them as your own. refrain from endorsing my work on tiktok, wattpad, ao3, or any other social media platform. additionally, do not utilize my work for asmr purposes.

Good morning/afternoon/evening and welcome to my very first participation Kinktober 2024! I’m so excited to share my smutty fics with you all. I will be locking in and writing one fic for the next 31 days of October. These works are all nsfw so if you are not 18 and up please do not interact with my work.

Please check out my blog rules before proceeding.

If any of the topics discussed make you feel uneasy, please continue scrolling and refrain from engaging with content that makes you uncomfortable. I will provide warnings, but if I overlook anything, please inform me. It's perfectly acceptable if the content I share is not suitable for you.

That's all! Have fun, teehee.

╔═══════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ═══════╗

Day I: Be Good to Me — Arthur Morgan (Edging)

Day II: Burning Desire — Simon “Ghost” Riley & John “Soap” Mactavish (Threesome)

Day III: Lust for Life — Kyle “Gaz” Garrick (Vibrator)

Day IV: Catch a Ride to Heaven — Arthur Morgan (Virginity)

Day V: Tomorrow is a Long Time — John Price (Masturbation)

Day VI: A Little Blood Never Hurt Nobody — John “Soap” MacTavish (Period Sex)

Day VII: All For You — Simon “Ghost” Riley (A/B/O)

Day VIII: Living Legend — König (Belly Bulge)

Day IX: Sweet Like Cinnamon — John “Soap” Mactavish (Praise Kink)

Day X: Beautiful People Beautiful Problems — Kyle “Gaz” Garrick (Aphrodisiacs)

Day XI: In Love With a Hurricane — Simon “Ghost” Riley (Uniform)

Day XII: Let Me Love You Just a Little Longer — König (Overstimulation)

Day XIII: Under the Influence of You — John Price (Blowjobs)

Day XIV: Blue Is the Warmest Color — Keegan P. Russ (Lingerie)

Day XV: Too Late to Change — John Price (Cockwarming)

Day XVI: Crimson and Clover — König (Spanking)

Day XVII: Say You Want Me Too — John Price (Honeymoon)

Day XVIII: Every Man Gets His Wish — Simon “Ghost” Riley (Squirting)

Day XIX: Bitter Sweet Love — König (Degradation)

Day XX: Halfway to Heaven — John “Soap” MacTavish (Shower Sex)

Day XXI: Dancing With Danger — Kyle “Gaz” Garrick (Sex Pollen)

Day XXII: Chasing Ghosts — Simon “Ghost” Riley (Hybrids)

Day XXIII: You Can Be the Boss — John Price (Dominance)

Day XXIV: Cherry On Top — Kyle “Gaz” Garrick (Sensory Deprivation/Sensory Play)

Day XXV: Pretty When You Cry — König (Crying)

Day XXVI: Ride or Die — Arthur Morgan (Face Sitting)

Day XXVII: Living in the Afterglow — John Price (Aftercare)

Day XXVIII: Breathless Nights — Simon “Ghost” Riley (Bondage)

Day XXIX: The Sweetest Escape — John “Soap” MacTavish

Day XXX: Everybody Knows I’m a Good Girl Officer — John Price (Authority)

Day XXXI: Mirror Sex — Arthur Morgan

╚════════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ═══════╝

[mariamakeslemons]

Kinktober 2024: Day 2 Piercing/Double Penetration/Voyeurism

Warning: Reader is AFAB (attempted Gender Neutral), Reader is called Bunny and Soap's called Pup, terrible attempts at accents, uncovered sex (wrap 'em up!) MDNI

John sits in a chair with Kyle between his legs, the two of them watching as Simon and Johnny help you undress for what you’ve taken to calling The Show. Sometimes, John doesn’t want to actively being in the thick of sex, but he wants the thrill of control. So, you and the boys will put on The Show, letting John direct just how it’s going to go.

“Slow down, Sweetheart,” he tells you, “Let Soap be a good boy and take it off you.” You shudder and comply, letting Johnny slowly pull off your clothes. John huffs and orders, “Ghost, don’t jus’ stand there like a lump. Give our bunny a kiss for being so good.”

“Yessir,” Simon rumbles, leaning down to pepper your face with kisses before pressing your lips together, rapidly deepening the kiss as Johnny finishes pulling off your clothes and he starts to kiss and nip your skin.

“Calm down, pup,” John orders. Johnny immediately whines, but complies, pressing kisses on the bites he’s already made on your skin in apology. You break the kiss you have with Simon to coax Johnny into a kiss, keeping his mouth busy as to not be bitten again. Simon takes that as permission to press kisses down your body, kneeling at your feet.

“That’s it, Simon,” John coos, “Be a good boy and prep our bunny with your tongue.” He complies, pulling one of your legs to rest on his shoulder before diving in. You moan into Johnny’s mouth, glancing over at the chair John’s sitting in. Kyle seems to have decided to distract him by mouthing at John’s pants so sweetly, John rubbing at Kyle’s head as his blue eyes watch you and the boys.

“Pay attention to the boys, Bunny,” John gently scolds, pulling his cock out for Kyle to eagerly swallow. You comply, releasing Johnny’s mouth to moan as Simon devours your pussy.

“Sir, Sir, C’n Ah? Please?” Johnny pleads as your hands find Simon’s hair.

“Y’ wanna eat our Bunny’s arse so bad?” John asks, sounding completely unaffected by Kyle’s mouth on his cock or the show before him, “Then go ahead Pup. Make it sloppy for yourself.”

“Yessir,” Johnny obeys eagerly, dropping to his knees and immediately shoving his tongue into your ass. You throw your head back with a groan, one of your hands blindly searching for Johnny’s hair. You faintly hear John mumble praises to Kyle when you are finally able to thread your fingers through Johnny’s mohawk, pressing him firmly against your ass. Simon slurps at your clit while his fingers press in, stretching you for what’s to come. You moan and pull the behemoth of a man closer with your leg that’s over his shoulder, balancing so precariously on one leg that threatens to collapse under you from the pleasure.

“Put Bunny on the bed,” John suddenly orders, “Pup on the bottom, Simon on top. You boys get the hole you prepped.” Johnny manages to fling you onto the bed, badly as your torso flops hard on the edge of the bed, leaving you to crawl up yourself while he struggles with his jeans. Simon huffs, undoing his own pants easily to reveal the ladder on the underside of his cock. You bite your lower lip in arousal as Johnny reveals his magic cross and the two frenum piercings on the underside as he finally drops his pants. Then, Johnny falls face first on the bed, his knees hitting the floor loudly. All movement in the room stops at the abrupt fall, Kyle even pulling away from John’s cock to see what the hell just happened.

“…Y’ okay there, Johnny?” Simon asks casually, causing you to let out a cackle at Johnny’s misstep.

“Away an’ bile yer heid,” Johnny huffs, finally clamoring onto the bed with a pout. You snicker while peppering kisses all over the sweet boy’s face, Kyle snickering as well before it turns into a muffled moan by John pushing his head back against the thick length John calls a cock.

“Alright, enough out of you lot,” John scolds with a chuckle and a smile. His eyes turn back to the bed as he orders, “Get on top of Pup, Bunny. Your back t’ his front.” You comply wordlessly, gasping and moaning as Johnny takes that as permission to push his fat cock into your ass. Simon gently shushes you, running his hands up and down your sides to soothe you before pushing in your pussy. The whine that leaves your mouth is one of arousal, feeling so full with the men you love you could bust.

“What a good Bunny we’ve got,” John praises, scratching lightly at Kyle’s hair and scalp while the boys on the bed start to move, “Already so cock drunk and they haven’t even started fucking you proper.”

“A very good Bun,” Simon agrees, fucking into you a little harder, a little rougher. You keen, clenching around both his and Johnny’s cock as they start to fuck you properly. You arch and push back as each thrust tries to dislodge you from the other cock, your mouth busy with Simon’s as Johnny goes back to nipping and gnawing on your skin.

“Soap,” John tries to scold, but it comes out as a moan instead. Glancing away briefly, you see that Kyle is really focused on sucking on John’s cock, deepthroating it before pulling back to suckle on the head. Luckily, Johnny took the warning, despite how weak it is, once again kissing the marks he made.

“Sorry, bonnie Bunny,” Johnny mumbles into your skin, laving affection on your skin.

“Shouldn’t’ve done it in th’ firs’ place,” Simon growls, thrusting into your pussy rapidly as his thumb finds your clit. You whine, trying to chase Simon’s mouth. He shushes you, nipping your bottom lip before pressing a proper kiss to your mouth again, his tongue diving in to play with your own. Johnny licks a stripe up your neck, startling you from the kiss, before turning your head and taking his own.

“Boys, if you can’t play nice, Kyle and I’ll take our Bunny and show you how to,” John threatens with a growl. Immediately, the aggression dissolves into softness as two sets of hands gently run up and down your sides apologetically, Johnny breaking your kiss to pepper kisses on Simon’s faces. Simon takes the kisses easily, catching Johnny’s face for a proper kiss while still keeping tempo as they continue to fuck you. The image of them kissing, combined with the wonderful rubbing their piercings are doing inside you, is enough for you to cum with a loud moan.

“What a good Bunny,” John coos, before tensing and groaning as he cums down Kyle’s throat. Kyle hums happily, swallowing the cum easily before pulling back as Simon and Johnny thrust a few times more before cumming themselves. The three of you collapse on the bed, a little whine escaping your mouth as Simon practically crushes you into Johnny.

“Look at that,” John murmurs, suddenly closer, “Look at how good they were.”

“V-Very good, S-Sir,” Kyle stutters, his breath shaky. You blink bleary eyes, and turn your head, seeing that John is now standing at the side of the bed, Kyle’s back against his chest as his large hand wraps around Kyle’s pretty cock. You shimmy and shift, shaking as Simon and Johnny’s soft cocks plop out of you, and crawl away. Just in time, it seems as Kyle lets out his own moan and cums all over the two men’s faces. John clicks his tongue in disapproval, but seems to relent when you drag yourself back and softly lick up the mess on their faces.

“Fuck, Bunny,” Kyle breathes, making a grabbing motion to you. You follow easily, sharing his own cum with him as you make out.

“Fook,” Johnny whines, “They cannae keep lookin’ so good, LT.”

“Do I look like I can control ‘ow pretty they are?” Simon immediately asks, causing you and Kyle to pull apart with laughter.

“Alright, you lot,” John commands with a clap, “T’ the showers.”

[malk1ns]

november 8 2024 @ capitals, 4-2 win

the next part in my soulbond series (1, 2, 3, 4). hope you like it!

Sid can feel this season rapidly slipping out of his grasp.

He’d had a lot of talks with Kyle over the summer. Kyle was up-front about his plans for the year, honest and forthright about what he realistically thought the team could do. Their final conversation before Sid signed his extension ended with Kyle telling him, the Penguins are your team, Sidney, but if the direction we’re headed isn’t how you want to finish your career, I understand. It’s up to you.

He’d signed. He’s staying. It wasn’t ever really a choice.

Sid thinks there’s still a part of him that hoped, though. He’s never going to give up on winning, never going to stop chasing the ultimate goal, and the part of his brain that asks his barber to shave down the hair on his temples until the gray is less visible is the same part that clung to the idea of contending.

And, well, anything’s possible. They’re not even a quarter of the way through the season. But.

Worse than the team, though, Sid can feel Geno slipping away.

Geno’s been avoiding him since the Islanders game. After the hellish Carolina blowout, Sid tried to pin him down for a conversation, to actually talk about this bond and how they can fix it, but Geno slipped away, insulated from Sid on the plane by the poker game group and practically running up to his hotel room when they landed in DC.

For a moment Sid even considered going to morning skate to corner him, but Geno’s gameday routine is even more rigid than Sid’s own, and Sid can’t bring himself to mess up Geno’s rhythm, not on a day like today.

Games against Washington always have a little extra importance. Sid takes every game seriously, of course he does, but he won’t lie and say that the Capitals don’t stand out on the calendar more than the rest. Especially now, with records in sight and careers coming to an end.

It’s why he loses his temper and screams on the bench when they blow another lead again in the second.

Losing to an opponent because they’re just better than you is one thing. But what Sid can’t abide, won’t tolerate, is a lack of effort, sloppy play and ignoring the details and fundamentals, making careless mistakes that lead to chances against.

His line is playing well. He can’t say the same for anyone else.

At intermission, Sully stays out of the room at first, and Sid lets loose all his frustrations with the year so far, his anger at the losing streaks and his own struggles, and shouts the team down until they’re properly cowed. And when the coaching staff comes in again, Sid marches up to Sully and tells him to take Geno off the top line.

He says it loud enough for most of the guys to hear, but he doesn’t look over to see what face Geno’s making.

Geno’s been on his wing because of a bond he clearly doesn’t want, and Sid’s been taking advantage of it. If Sid can’t score with the wingers he has, he deserves any failures coming his way.

He spares a thought for his parents, somewhere up in the stands because Sid’s getting close to yet another milestone. Maybe he should tell them to go home.

It was the right decision. Partway through the third, Geno reads a rebound like only he can, breaks the tie, and the Penguins don’t look back.

Winning in Washington always means a lot, but even watching Alex smash his stick and yell at himself on the Capitals’ bench as time ticks down doesn’t make Sid feel better. He keeps his head down when he strips out of his gear, spends entirely too much time on a cooldown bike, and is the last one on the bus, barely making it before Sully would have started yelling about him being late.

At least they have the weekend off.

Sid can feel Geno watching him on the plane. Normally after a road trip like this, Geno would commandeer the window seat next to him, sprawl out and get his legs in Sid’s space, jostling him until Sid relaxed enough to laugh and poke back, the two of them picking at each other until they settled enough to get some sleep.

Nobody takes the empty seat next to Sid this time. He tugs his hat over his eyes and purposely thinks about nothing. At least it’s a short flight.

When they’re deboarding in Pittsburgh, for the first time ever Sid reaches out with the bond on purpose.

The recoil he gets from Geno is enough to send him practically running to his car, racing through the quiet streets to Sewickley faster than he’d normally drive. He feels sick.

Geno might hate him. It was Sid’s lagging production that pulled him into this bond, after all, chained Geno to his side for a week until Sid stopped being selfish and forced them apart again. Geno had been sick, Geno hadn’t been producing, and the second Sid let him free he scored, so… Sid can’t say with confidence that he wouldn’t be furious if their roles were reversed.

He’s so wrapped up in his own self-recriminations that he doesn’t realize Geno’s coming over until he hears a key in his lock, and suddenly Geno’s presence in the back of his mind is inescapable.

“Sid?” Geno calls, and Sid, sitting at his island in his dark kitchen, drops his head into his hands and waits.

When Geno finds him, he swears long and low, a tumble of Russian that Sid would have gotten the gist of even without the bond pulsing concern and guilt his way.

He flinches when Geno flicks the lights on, blinking up at where Geno’s suddenly looming over him.

“We need to talk,” Geno says, and Sid stares at him helplessly, because what is there to say?

Geno shakes his head and sits on the stool next to him, pressing their knees together. Sid feels a wash of relief at the contact so powerful he has to blink away dizzy darkness from the corners of his vision. Geno frowns, the downturned corners of his mouth digging lines into his face. In the harsh overhead lights, he looks haggard, skin pale under the remnants of his summer tan and the bags under his eyes dark and pronounced.

“My fault,” Geno says, holding up one big hand when Sid opens his mouth. “It’s me who starts this, like, after Sochi. I’m think probably I know it’s there and we’re ignore for so long it’s say, no more, has to happen. We have to fix or we’re sick for season.”

Sid shakes his head. “It’s me who made it…whatever,” he says, gesturing. He doesn’t know the right words for what’s happening to them, never read up on bonds because he never expected to have one. “Like, I needed you and made it…this.”

“You needed me,” Geno repeats, and his voice is toneless, but Sid feels a soft bloom of…something in the bond, something that makes him want to reach out and touch.

“I always need you,” Sid mutters, staring at his hands instead of Geno’s face. Almost twenty years together on this team and it shouldn’t feel so strange to admit, of course they need each other, but something about saying it now, out loud…the way he’s feeling, the way he can tell Geno is feeling, makes the words feel fraught.

There’s a long silence, and when Sid looks up, Geno’s biting his lip. “Don’t know what to do,” he admits, and Sid shouldn’t feel relief there, but at least he’s not alone in feeling totally lost.

There’s no real literature for this, not really. They haven’t even been able to have more than a few quick consults with bond specialists since they’ve been on the road.

Sid startles a little when Geno reaches out and covers Sid’s hands with one of his own. His palm is a little damp, but he’s warm, and his hand is big enough to cover both of Sid’s where they’re twisting in his lap.

It’s late. They both should get sleep, even with two full days off from games.

They sit in Sid’s kitchen in silence as night deepens outside.

[hedgehogsaretheultimatelifeform]

Kinktober 2024 Day Seventeen

Boot Riding

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick/Capitan John Price

“Mind telling me where you’ve been?” Price questioned before Gaz had even finished closing the door behind him.

Gaz glanced at the clock. It was a minute, maybe two, past seven. He was barely late. At least, not late enough to warrant the hard glare Price was giving him from behind his desk.

“Just making my report to Ghost.” Gaz shut the door and walked up to the front of the desk, grinning down at the captain. “Got a problem with that?”

“Yes.” Price leant back and stared up at his sergeant. “I don’t recall telling you to give any kind of report to Ghost. Let alone, telling you that this report could make you late to meet with me.”

“I’m sorry.” Gaz leaned over the desk, one hand planted on the wooden surface, the other reaching out for Price’s face, until he moved his chair back, out of Gaz’s reach.

“You want to apologise to me, sergeant?”

“It’s two minutes, it’s hardly a big deal.” Gaz stood up, folding his arms.

“It’s two minutes you spent with Ghost—”

“And not you? I though we talked about you being jealous, John?”

“I’m not jealous.” John spat the word out. “Strip, now.”

Gaz rolled his eyes, but complied, leaving his clothes where they fell in a crumpled mess on the floor when he tried to go around to get to where Price was sitting.

John held up a hand to stop him. “Really, sergeant? Clean that mess up.”

Gaz stopped, frowning as he met the captain’s hard stare again. He debated it, then decided that now probably wasn’t the time to make whatever Price had in store for him worse, so he stopped and picked up his clothes, carefully folding each item before setting the pile neatly on the front edge of the desk, crouching out of Price’s sight, out of his stare, as he tucked his boots up against the front of the desk below it.

Price grunted in approval when he stood back up, and beckoned Gaz to come close, pointing to the ground in front of him as he swung his chair to the side. “Kneel.”

Gaz did so, sitting on his heels as he pressed his legs together in front of Price’s boots, his hardening dick resting on his thigh, half concealed by arms stretching down so his hands could rest on his knees. Price reached out and cupped his chin, tilting Gaz’s head from side to side as he studied his face. Gaz kept quiet, but shivered as he felt his dick continue to get hard against his thigh, thanks to Price’s silent stares.

“He’s at least had the decency to not leave any marks.” Price grunted, pushing Gaz’s head back as he let it go, his eyes flicking down to Gaz’s half hard cock instead. “Did he send you off with that?”

Gaz shook his head. “All your work. Sir.”

“What? Just telling you what to do?” Price chuckled low in his throat, leaning down towards him. “Anyone can give instructions, Gaz.”

“I don’t follow instructions from just anyone.”

“Right, just me, and Ghost.”

“You’d be surprised.” Gaz murmured, his breath bating in his throat for the grand reveal.

“How so?”

“Most of the time, I’m telling him what to do.”

“Sure, you are.” John chuckled, in a way that told Kyle he didn’t believe him. He indicated for Kyle to split his legs open as he pushed his right leg forward, nudging his black, leather boot between Kyle’s knees. “You’re going to grind on my boot, and tell me the truth, you understand, the truth about what Ghost does to you.”

“Yes, sir.” Kyle widened his legs, shuffling close until his dick was rubbing up against the leather boot. He wrapped his arms around John’s shin, shifting his hips up as he tilted his head to one side, resting it on the top of John’s knee as he looked up at him. “What do you want to know?”

“Have you let him jerk you off?”

“Yes.” Gaz started rolling his hips, rubbing his dick against John’s boot. He bit his lip at the initial discomfort, dragging his skin against the tough surface, until it faded and left him searching for more texture with each roll of his hips as he struggled to find the right angle.

“How often does he do it?”

“Uh, quite often.” Gaz tightened his grip on Price’s trousers, pinching the cloth between his fingers, dragging it out from where it was tucked into his tightly laced boot. “He’s willing to do it for us- me, whenever, rather than me jerking off.”

“Is that so?” Price eyes lit up at the ‘us’ Gaz let slip, before picking up a cigar from the ash tray and relighting it. “How does he do it? Left or right hand?”

“Right.”

“Fast? Slow? Tight? Or squeezing?”

“He goes fast. Doesn’t do too much, just grips and goes until you, uh, finish.”

“Does he make you clean his hand?”

“Usually wants to wipe it on your shirt.” Gaz grunted as his dick rubbed against Price’s laces, his hips bucking up as he remembered the harsh speed of Ghost’s hand jobs.

“Isn’t he generous?”

“Uh huh.” Gaz tried to shift his dick away from the laces, back to the patch of untextured leather he’d found before. He didn’t want to cum before Price said to.

“Does he ever get you to return the favour?”

“Sometimes. He wants, prefers, to get sucked off, though.”

Price grunted. “Good trade, with how well you suck dick, Garrick.”

“Thank you, sir.” Gaz preened as Price stroked his cheek, blowing smoke out of his mouth.

“Does he ever suck your dick?”

“Yes.”

“How?”

“At his own pace. You just sit there and let him work.” He swallowed, clenching Price’s shin tight and slowing his hips, not missing the tinge of desperation that came into his voice as he continued speaking. “He doesn’t let you… No touching. Doesn’t let you touch him.”

“His rules, I suppose. Do you think he’s as good as you?”

“No, he’s nowhere near as good as me.” Gaz answered without thinking. When he’d processed what he’d said, he felt his face run hot, and his eyes widened. “Don’t tell him I said that.”

“I won’t.” Price lifted Gaz’s head up, cupping his cheeks in both hands, holding his cigar between his teeth as he tugged Gaz’s face up, grumbling around it as he continued his interrogation. “Does he let you cum down his throat?”

“Insists on it.” Gaz jerked his hips to a stop, precum dribbling down the leather as his breath choked in his throat. Fuck, he was close to coming.

“S’alright. Take your time.” Price’s thumb stroked his cheek. “Tell me how he fucks you.”

“Right.” Gaz tried to gather his thoughts away from how good it felt to have Ghost filling his ass as the memories flooded into his mind. “Likes to have you prepped, finger yourself open. One time… he had me and Soap prep each other.”

“Did he now?” Price murmured, brushing a tear off of Gaz’s cheek, his eyes sparking again at the mention of Soap.

“Yeah. He likes to be able to just sink into a hole and fuck. Hard, fast. Manhandles you. Won’t wait for you to come before he does.”

“Does he now?” Price’s brow furrowed. If Kyle was in a clearer state, he might have thought it was a look of disapproval.

“Makes up for it, though. Excellent aftercare. Cuddles you close, slowly jerks you off. Always makes you a bacon sandwich.”

“Ah, that explains where all our bacon goes.” Price gently ran his thumb along Gaz’s lip. “And what about when he lets you fuck him?”

Gaz’s dick twitched, as he remembered how Ghost had ended up underneath him that one night. “He begs.”

“He…”

“Begs. Does it really well… almost too well. And he cums loads. Makes a difference to see it all over him rather than in… in you.”

“Go on.” Price’s voice seemed faint to him now. Like he was far away. Not that it mattered, Gaz was going to ramble on whether the captain told him to or not.

“He’s loud. Whiney. Goes all pink, all over. Tight and squeezes like a vice.” Gaz swallowed, rubbing his dick up against the laces again.

“Does he?”

“Yeah.” Gaz squeezed his eyes shut.

“Go on. Come.”

“Fuck…” Gaz came, spreading his come over Price’s boot as he thought about fucking it deep into Ghost’s ass, all while Price cupped his face, murmuring gently above him.

Eventually, Price drew his leg back and lifted Gaz into his lap, guiding him up as Gaz’s legs shook underneath him, wrapping him securely in his arms before he spoke again.

“Thank you for telling me that.”

Gaz leant into his chest. “You’re welcome. Am… am I forgiven for being late?”

“Of course. Just see that it doesn’t become a habit.”

Gaz looped his arms around his neck. “Course it won’t.”

“Good. If there’s a next time, I’ll be having words with both you, and Ghost.”

“Words? Or watching?” Gaz nuzzled into Price’s neck.

He chuckled. “It’s like you read my mind.”

[titanelite22]

Look, if you don't like Mean Girls (2024) then that's fine, no one is holding you at gunpoint. However, the constant hate is seriously getting tiring. (TW For Body shaming, Eating Disorders For Point 2 Part A, Point 4 and the TLDR)

1) The people who were groaning like Minecraft villagers in the cinema every time they would sing confused me. It was stated that it is a musical movie and it is based on the musical. Do y'all not look at what you're going to watch before you watch it? That's not the fault of the creators, that's your fault.

2) Some of y'all need to leave Reneé Rapp ALONE.

2A - The body shaming that she experienced when the trailers were released was seriously disgusting. Let's keep two things in mind when it comes to this topic:

• Reneé has openly said that when playing Regina for the musical, The costume designers would change the sizing of her clothing without her knowing, and she was constantly body shamed. This led to her developing an eating disorder.

• The body standards back in the '00s were unrealistic and toxic. Rachel McAdams, from what I can see, is a naturally skinny person who probably doesn't put on weight as easily as other people. Now, if she was to gain a bit of weight, she would indeed be called "plus sized" back then. A "plus sized" model on America's Next Top Model, for example, was a size 6... Yeah, exactly.

Beyoncé was called fat back when she was in Destiny's Child (She's spoken about it, and there are probably even articles), which is crazy because she was slim. Very slim. And remember Dreamgirls? She lost weight for that film too, using very unhealthy diets and she didn't need to.

2B - Y'all need to stop lying to yourselves and saying that Reneé isn't a good Regina George - You just prefer Rachel McAdams' Regina George. Reneé did amazingly and she has an amazing voice and one of the strongest vocal performances. Reneé has been playing Regina George for years for the musical. Rachel McAdams herself even gave Reneé her blessing, saying that she can "do no wrong" and that she can't wait to see her on screen. She even introduced Reneé on SNL. I feel like some of you are trying to live out your Mean Girl fantasies, and you need to get a slap back to reality.

2C - "Reneé Rapp needs media training". When I first saw this, I thought that she was saying some extremely offensive things. Then, what do I see? Her calling out bad service from a business... People do it all the time, why is it different when she does it? Is it because she's a celebrity? I didn't see a problem with what she said at all. Reneé also has a very random train of thought from what I can see (Terrell even points it out on his show), but it's never anything to cause outrage about. It's just things that make you go "Oh! Ok lol".

3) "Why is Janis a lesbian in the 2024 movie? Isn't the whole joke that she's Lebanese?". Let me start by saying that while the joke was implied, Regina did not that this was the reason. Regina said that Janis started to get "obsessed" with her when she started dating Kyle (And it was probably more like Regina was more focused on her boyfriend and not much on her best friend, hence Janis probably asking Regina to spend time with her and Regina finding it "weird" because she's so self-absorbed...) and so she assumed that Janis is a lesbian. If the whole Lesbian/Lebanese joke was clearer, they would've had Regina state that Janis told her that she's Lebanese (Lesbian).

Secondly, Just because Janis kisses a boy at the end of the film doesn't mean she's not a Lesbian. For starters, there are things in the Musical that are changed from the original movie, and the 2024 movie is based on the musical (and Janis doesn't speak to Kevin at all in the musical. Correct me if I'm wrong). On top of that, there are many who later on realise that the sexuality they believed themselves to be doesn't fit them. For example, Reneé was Bisexual before she realised that she was a Lesbian. She's dated guys, does that suddenly mean she's not a Lesbian? No... Now, stop complaining about Janis being a lesbian in the 2024 film 🥱

4) The complaints about lines being changed/songs being cut e.g. "I never weighed more than 115" to "That filter you use looks just like me". Reneé was bullied and body shamed during the musical, why do you think they changed that line? I've seen quite a few people like "It's not even that offensive" like hello? Let's use our brains!

I do agree with the complaints about songs being cut (e.g. Meet The Plastics) and I do agree that Tina Fey's speech about girls respecting each other should've been added due to Tina Fey herself saying she wanted to reduce the amount of slut shaming in the musical. I feel like it would've added a lot of impact (I don't think the scene was in the musical. Once again, correct me if I'm wrong).

My Thoughts On The Film:

• It was visually pleasing in my opinion, the dance numbers were really nice, beautiful cinematography and I think the cast was well chosen

• I wish that they had chosen actors that could sing - Avantika did a good job as Karen, but her singing was lacking. Same thing with Angourie Rice. People may not think it's a big deal and fair enough, but I just think that it stands out when you have her in the same film with Reneé and Auli'i.

• The soundtrack was amazing, but I wasn't a fan of some rearrangements. However, I can understand why they may have done it with Stupid In Love.

• A lot of funny jokes, and it was fun to watch

TLDR;

• You're allowed to dislike it. However, the constant comparisons to the 2004 movie and the constant complaints about minor things is starting to get tiring. Like oh no, Janis is a lesbian? YAWN, move on !

• Stop bodyshaming Reneé. Y'all are genuinely nasty individuals for doing this and you'll be the same ones preaching about Mental health and being kind to people... I hope she doesn't listen to any of you assholes.

[spkyleweek]

Guidelines // SFW Prompts // Pinned Post

Kyle Week 2024 is a character appreciation event that will run from May 20th - May 26th. Each day has two prompts to choose from, of which you can do anything: write, draw, edit, make a playlist, whatever you like!

La Kyle Week 2024 es un evento creado para mostrar nuestro cariño y apreciacion por el personaje, y se desarrolla desde el día 20 de Mayo hasta el 26 del mismo mes. ¡Cada día encontrarás dos temáticas entre las que elegir, que puedes usar para crear cualquier contenido que gustes; como escribir, dibujar, editar, crear playlists, etc!

NSFW PROMPTS – TEMÁTICA NSFW

Day 1: Somnophilia, Public Sex – Día 1: Somnofilia, Sexo en público

Day 2: Monsterfucking, Predator/Prey – Día 2: Monsterfucking, Depredador/Presa

Day 3: Masturbation/Selfcest, Favorite Toys – Día 3: Masturbación/Selfcest, Juguetes (sexuales) favoritos

Day 4: Lingerie/Dress-Up, Roleplaying – Día 4: Lencería/Atuendos, Role-play

Day 5: Body Hair, Oral Sex – Día 5: Vello corporal, Sexo oral

Day 6: Free Day – Día 6: Día libre

Day 7: Breeding, Shibari – Día 7: Preñar, Shibari

Further explanation and suggestions for themes are listed below. - Puedes encontrar explicaciones y sugerencias para los temas aquí abajo.

Day 1 / Día 1:

Somnophilia: Giving, receiving, let Kyle have some fun!

Somnofilia: Dar o recibir… ¡haz que Kyle pase un buen rato!

Public Sex: Dressing rooms, alleyways—here’s Kyle’s opportunity to be a dirty, filthy little boy. Maybe he’s an (un)willing viewer!

Sexo en Público: En cambiadores, callejones… Cualquier situación en la que Kyle pueda ser un cochinote. Incluso, ¡puede encontrarse viendo algo que no querría… o si!

Day 2 / Día 2:

Monsterfucking: Monster Kyle, Kyle with a less than human partner. Danger or desire?

Monsterfucking: Kyle monstruo, Kyle con una pareja no humana… ¿Peligro o deseo?

Predator/Prey: Is Kyle at the top of the food chain, or is there someone else he needs to worry about? Enjoyment? Shame?

Depredador/Presa: ¿Está Kyle en lo alto de la pirámide alimenticia o hay alguien (o algo) más de quién debería preocuparse? ¿Diversión, o pena?

Day 3 / Día 3:

Masturbation/Selfcest: By himself, with an audience, peeping tom, mutual masturbation. Crossovers with other Kyles (SoT, TFBW, Jersey), have fun!

Masturbación/Selfcest: Él solo, con audiencia, espiando, masturbación mutua, crossovers con Kyles diferentes (SoT, TFBW, Jersey), ¡lo que gustes!

Favorite Toys: Toy preferences for himself, for someone else? Plushophilia. (Sorry, Clyde frog!)

Juguetes (sexuales) favoritos: ¿Sus preferencias para si mismo, o para otras personas? Plusofiliia/ursusagalamatofilia (¡lo siento mucho, Rana Clyde…!).

Day 4 / Día 4:

Lingerie/Dress-Up: An outfit for Kyle or one for his partner. What does he like to wear? What does he like to see?

Lencería/Atuendos: Un traje para Kyle, o para su pareja. ¿Qué le gusta llevar? ¿o qué le gusta ver?

Roleplaying: DnD after dark, BDSM, whatever! Does Kyle take to his character easily, or is it a struggle he has to overcome?

Role-play: DnD para adultos, BDSM, ¡cualquier cosa! ¿A Kyle le cuesta entrar en papel, o se desenvuelve bien actuando?

Day 5 / Día 5:

Body Hair: On Kyle or on others. Shaving, waxing, picking pubes out of his mouth with disgust?

Vello corporal: Tanto en Kyle, como en otros. Depilación, cera… ¿quitándose vello púbico de la boca con asco?

Oral Sex: Giving, receiving, fantasizing about. Fellatio, cunnilingus, ass-eating, oral fixation!

Sexo Oral: Dando, recibiendo, o fantaseando con ello. ¡Felación, cunilínguo, beso negro, o fijación oral!

Day 6 / Día 6:

Free Day: Anything that your heart desires, after dark! (Or… did someone say… free use?)

Día libre: Déjate llevar por los deseos de tu corazón…más cochinos. (¿Quizá alguien dijo… Kyle de libre uso?)

Day 7 / Día 7:

Breeding: Ruts/heats, breeding, being bred, baby fever or just a sexy kink!

Preñar: Kyle en celo… tanto preñando como siendo preñado. ¿Quizá se le despertó el instinto paternal? ¡O quizá todo sea un juego en la cama!

Shibari: Whether it’s rope bunny or rigger Kyle, he’ll look good doing it! Bruises? Immobilized? Defenseless?

Shibari: ¿Has pensado alguna vez si Kyle luciría bien siendo atado? ¿O atando a otra persona? ¿Qué hay de los moretones? Siendo inmovilizado, o quedando indefenso…

[timebegins-onopeningday]

Time Begins On Opening Day 2024: Round Up Post #1

Happy Friday everyone and welcome to Round-Up Post #1! This post includes links to all works posted in the first half of the season + details about First Half Commentfest which begins today and goes through the weekend.

Soft Deadline #1 offers us 20 (20!!) fanworks for five teams and 104 prompts across several teams as well as some broad and open-ended prompts! For a small fandom and only halfway through the season, that's pretty cool. If you're just finding this prompt meme now, or if you didn't finish something you were working on before the deadline, never fear - this prompt runs the entire length of the 2024 season! There is still plenty of time create.

Enjoy the works, slam that kudos button, leave a comment, and enjoy the second half of the MLB season!

Soft Deadline #2 is September 29, the end of the regular season.

🌞 First Half Commentfest 🌞

First Half Commentfest runs this weekend, from Friday July 19 to Sunday July 21. As we catch up with all these amazing works (fic! art! poetry! y’all are amazing!!) my challenge as a mod for us is to get every single one of these works at least five independent comments from five independent readers by the end of the weekend. (So we’re not including creator responses in that comment count!)

Why? Because it’s very easy to feel isolated as a creator – particularly in a small fandom like baseball rpf. We all know how easy it is to hit the kudos button and move on, but in a challenge designed to inspire creators for a very small, very spread out of fandom, a little encouragement can go a long way.

justleaveacommentfest has a list of resources for helping write comments on fic here and hxphaestion wrote some notes on what kind of comments resonate with artists (scroll for reblog) if you’re not sure where to start.

Let’s get all these works some comments!

🌞 Fanworks from the first half of the season 🌞

That we got as many fics as we did in the first half makes your mod SO happy, because we’re already past what we had last year!! This was a pain in the ass to put together because there were so many links and that delighted me. Shout out to you all, you’re all amazing.

I organized these by fanwork type, then grouped works by team and sorted alphabetically by the creator’s name + title (with the exception of one set of works, which are grouped in order of the series). Enjoy the works, bang that kudos button and COMMENT 🥳🥳

Art

Baltimore Orioles

[collage] heat waves by sapplyandherfriend

a celebration of dingers and slug edit: WOOOOOO TONY IS AN ALL STAR

Toronto Blue Jays

[collage] cheer on your team! by idlt

a toronto blue jays collage made on a 6x4 index card with a bunch of junk from the recycling bin

[collage] love song (show elation) by idlt

a vladdy and bo collage made on half of a page of cardstock with a bunch of junk from the recycling bin and a pile of old magazines that I got from someone in my neighbourhood who was going to throw them out, plus a few star stickers and a picture of vlad and bo pasted on top digitally

Poetry

Toronto Blue Jays

come home (the way they need you to) by idlt

A short poem about Vladdy and home and being seen.

Fic

Baltimore Orioles

one warm summer night (fireworks outside) by Settsplitt

Technically, they’re kind of hidden, standing a few steps down the tunnel, with their teammates all turned towards the fluorescent night sky, eyes fixed on the show. But still, Kyle thinks, as Adley tucks his hand under the hem of his pants, slipping his fingers beneath his belt and digging until he finds bare skin, this can’t be a good idea.

Milwaukee Brewers

In Stadium Light & Shadow by TheGlobeLifeBarn 

A thin satellite in orbit of nothing.

Philadelphia Phillies

Pressure Point by caltrain

Bryce fucked up his hammy and he’s being an enormous baby about it.

you think it’s different but it’s always the same by palimpsestic

Florida’s always so fucking humid, even in February—the air is sticky with unshed rain, hangs heavy with anticipation.

Who’s on First by powerblu (bluspirits)

A lot may have changed since Rhys first got called up to the Phillies: the size of the crowds, their record, the fact that they're playing in the World Series. But one thing is exactly the same: Bryce Harper is still there on the other team, annoying the hell out of him.

put some moves on you, babe (i know you need it) by pronoe

Bryson reminds himself to be careful where he sucks his marks on Alec’s skin, with the way he keeps his jerseys half-unbuttoned.

Seattle Mariners

Broken Foot and Cuddles by Anonymous

turns out that record-breaking pitch had actually been “breaking” in more ways than one. Poor Ty, with the foot fracture.

Toronto Blue Jays

Fiber arts for first inning starts by caltrain

There’s a hot guy no one has ever seen before at the softball clinic. He crushes three balls out of the park off of Kevin and pisses Kevin off so bad that Yusei slings an arm around his neck and kisses his cheek. “Can we get him?” he says happily.

5 Times The Blue Jays were Blue Gays: Number 1 Will Shock You! by idlt

George Springer is writing for the first edition of the new Blue Jays newsletter, organized and edited by Davis Schneider. George's first assignment? Clickbait the fuck out of everyone with the most unbelievable listicle ever (except somehow it is actually that gay)! Here's what he wrote, plus what Davis had to say about it.

he said i have bisexual swag! by idlt

An ode to Jordan Romano's short-lived yet glorious septum piercing (in the format of 2 idiots texting)

the grip of artificial chaos by idlt

Davis and Ernie sneak a moment in the dugout as the fireworks go off.

Out of Left Field by OneWhoSitsWithTurtles

Danny Jansen and Daulton Varsho were rivals playing on opposing baseball teams in high school. Now, ten years later, they are playing on the same team for the Toronto Blue Jays. As they weather the ups and downs of the baseball season, Danny and Daulton find an unexpected companionship in one another. But there is a lot on the line and neither knows if it is safe to indulge these feelings or if they are better left buried in the past.

Cover Your Bases by OneWhoSitsWithTurtles

Ten years after being high school rivals, Danny Jansen and Daulton Varsho started playing baseball on the same team for the Toronto Blue Jays. Their months together brought them closer as teammates, friends, and then something more. Now they need to decide what risks they’re willing to take if they want to make their relationship official.

Swing for the Fences by OneWhoSitsWithTurtles

Danny Jansen and Daulton Varsho are officially dating. Unfortunately, being public figures in a major league sport makes that anything but simple. They’ve agreed to keep things private until the end of the baseball season but that means Danny and Daulton must balance their blooming relationship and their work while navigating the ever-present media attention.

The Longest Road by OneWhoSitsWithTurtles

After their nightly game of Settlers of Catan, Davis has a heart-to-heart with Spencer about his growing feelings for their mutual friend Ernie. Spencer offers some valuable advice and reassurance, which gives Davis the courage to accept when Ernie asks him to forgo the living room couch and share a bed for the night.

Therapy with Daulto Varsho by OneWhoSitsWithTurtles

Daulton has always been a listener rather than a talker. Whether it’s good news or bad news, he’s there to hear out his teammates. Sometimes, this leads to unexpected revelations.

[qnewsau]

Daniel Craig's Queer sex scenes leak before we even get a trailer

New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/daniel-craigs-queer-sex-scenes-leak-before-we-even-get-a-trailer/

Daniel Craig's Queer sex scenes leak before we even get a trailer

The explicit gay sex scenes from Daniel Craig’s Queer have leaked online, before the highly-anticipated new movie’s trailer has even dropped.

Queer is the upcoming film from Challengers and Call Me By Your Name director Luca Guadanino, based on the 1985 novel by William S Burroughs.

It stars Daniel Craig and Drew Starkey as two men who meet in Mexico City, and out heartthrob Omar Apollo makes his acting debut in a supporting role.

Queer doesn’t have a release date yet but the flick is doing the rounds on the festival circuit. The film received an 11-minute, 44-second ovation after its premiere at the Venice Film Festival.

The hype is insane, and Queer‘s stars have been teasing the film’s gay sex scenes for months.

As more people see the film in US and Europe, naughty cinemagoers are whipping out their phones and spread the explicit scenes on Twitter X.

We’re not going to post the clips here because we don’t want to go to jail. But people are reacting hilariously to seeing a lot of Daniel Craig and Omar Apollo on their timelines.

drew starkey getting topped on my tl okayyy pic.twitter.com/dtKMmn0tvr

— n. (@ungodlymakk) October 9, 2024

almost got scared when I opened the Queer leak in public but then remembered I’m at sweat

— Kyle (@kylemiller_10) October 9, 2024

@hellokrissyj @samia_chow pic.twitter.com/SwD4QRbe5K

— Angel Rod. (@angelfishes) October 9, 2024

drew starkey bottoming scene from queer doing rounds on the tl……. pic.twitter.com/LOGSsRHdhu

— (@peachpanthress) October 10, 2024

omar apollo leaked queer scene saved to camera roll pic.twitter.com/XUMSDFJrRZ

— RooBee (@angelbabybutts) October 9, 2024

queer is gonna leak in its entirety before we have a poster…

— bunny (@chthonicrabbit) October 9, 2024

To everyone who keeps leaking clips from Queer: I genuinely hope you get sued. Like seriously

— mathis (@cinephileslut) October 9, 2024

Daniel Craig and Drew Starkey on Queer’s sex scenes

Speaking to Variety last month, actor Drew Starkey said shooting Queer, he and Daniel Craig were “game for anything.”

“We just were like, “Let’s go for it, let’s have fun,” he began.

“He was a great partner to have in that. I think him and I share that same mentality of just not giving a shit.

“[Luca] was so specific — he wanted us to be as comfortable as possible throughout that process, and we would block off where these intimate scenes would happen. We talked months in advance about what we thought it should be.

“It was also like a dance. We were trying to figure it out. But those were some of the most fun days I think we all had on set — just Daniel and I laughing.”

Daniel Craig said at the Venice Film Festival, “We just wanted to make it as touching and as real and as natural as we possibly could.

“Drew’s a wonderful, fantastic, beautiful actor to work with, and we just, we kind of had a laugh. We tried to make it fun.”

Queer is set in Mexico City in the 1940s

Over in the US, prestige distributor A24 is putting out Queer, and Mubi is distributing the film in numerous countries across Europe. No mention of an Australia release just yet, as per usual.

In Queer, William Lee – a stand-in for author William S Burroughs himself – is wandering Mexico City in the 1940s, fighting drug addiction.

There, he becomes madly infatuated with Allerton, who is battling demons of his own. Allerton toys with Lee, making the gay man even more obsessed with him. The two men later go travelling together.

Director Luca Guadagnino is known for his 2017 gay romance Call Me by Your Name as well as 2024’s very horny tennis drama Challengers.

For the latest LGBTIQA+ Sister Girl and Brother Boy news, entertainment, community stories in Australia, visit qnews.com.au. Check out our latest magazines or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

[wrestler-smash-or-pass]

Weekly Wrapup 4/7/24

This Week's Rankings:

Rhea Ripley (Papi Era) - 87.4% smash

Sami Zayn (NXT Era) - 80.3%

Edge & Christian - 78.4%

MK Ultra (Masha Slamovich & Killer Kelly) - 77.7%

Chuck Taylor, Trent Beretta, & Orange Cassidy - 75.9%

Alex Shelley - 75.8%

Indi Hartwell - 75.6%

Hirooki Goto - 68.0%

Fandango - 67.7%

Kyle O'Reilly (Revolution 2024) - 61.7%

Shayna Wayne - 56.6%

John Silver - 52.0%

FTR (Dax Harwood & Cash Wheeler) - 51.2%

Walter - 41.1%

Average smash rating this week: 67.8%

More stats under the cut, along with my observations, commentary, and some of my favorite tags...

Most total votes this week (most enthusiasm)

Kyle O'Reilly (Revolution 2024) - 428 votes

FTR - 416

Sami Zayn (NXT) - 400

Rhea Ripley (Papi) - 374

Chuck Taylor, Trent Beretta, & Orange Cassidy - 352

And least total votes this week (least enthusiasm)

Indi Hartwell - 180 votes

Fandango - 189

Walter - 214

Hirooki Goto - 222

Shayna Wayne - 244

The closest poll was FTR, who won 213-203

Top Ten Overall

Kris Statlander - 91% smash

Athena - 90.2% smash

Hikaru Shida - 89.7% smash

Utami Hayashishita - 88.9% smash

Minoru Suzuki (Young Variant) - 88.7% smash

Swerve Strickland - 88.3% smash

Toni Storm - 88.1% smash

Hiroshi Tanahashi - 87.7% smash

Rhea Ripley (Papi Era) - 87.4% smash

Hangman Adam Page - 86.4% smash

Top Tag Teams

Kabuki Warriors - 82.4% smash

The Golden Lovers - 80.4% smash

Edge & Christian - 78.4% smash

MK Ultra - 77.7% smash

Unholy Union - 74.3% smash

Rhea Ripley returns to the top 10 overall, this time in her Papi era. The tag teams of Edge & Christian and MK Ultra made it to the top tag team rankings.

All the way back in the first week of running this blog, I posted a poll on Gunther. He received 196 total votes and a smash rating of 29.6%. We had a poll on him as Walter this past week, where he was significantly more popular. Similar number of votes (214--the single most surprising thing to me about running this blog is how stable the vote counts have remained), but he got a 41.4% smash rating.

Also, this week had the highest average smash rating so far. I forgot to mention it in the recap, but last week set a record for lowest average smash rating.

And now for some of my favorite tags and comments

@allelitesmut on Kyle O'Reilly: #I am not immune to his wet cat demeanor

@beefyandbloody on Kyle O'Reilly: #i remember someone saying he looks like he escaped someone's torture basement and i wish it was mine

@heelhausen on Chuck, Trent, and OC: #smash but Trent has to sit in the cuck chair#I cant fuck Trent bc I’m more determined to get with his mom and I’m not ruining my chances with sue

@tache-noire on Alex Shelley: #leave me alone w him i'll fix his tiny nipples

@tetsuya-naito on Hirooki Goto: #i would run a marathon barefoot on legos for the chance to smash hirooki goto

@dm-me-your-weltanschauung on FTR: #someone should walk up to them and say “Hey guys I'm The Rest”#not me because I voted to pass#but someone should

@old-no7 on John Silver: #This man would fuck you like a machine and let you have the first pull of the joint after#The only thing you'd have to put up with is the fact that Reynolds and Uno WILL be there#Providing commentary#but also snacks

[simplylove101]

2024 Horror Challenge: [38/?]

↳“Are you having a good time?“ Blink Twice (2024) dir. Zoë Kravitz

Plot: When tech billionaire Slater King meets cocktail waitress Frida at his fundraising gala, he invites her to join him and his friends on a dream vacation on his private island. As strange things start to happen, Frida questions her reality.

Starring: Naomi Ackie, Channing Tatum, Christian Slater, Simon Rex, Adria Arjona, Haley Joel Osment, Kyle MacLachlan, Geena Davis & Alia Shawkat

I actually watched this one the day it became available on digital, which was coincidentally my birthday fyi (September 17th), and that turned out to be an interesting choice. Because I either watched this one before or after Afraid (oh boy, I already hated on that movie enough as it is in my previous review for it lol) and then I watched Cuckoo after it cuz it had also been released. Out of those three movies, this one was by far the most memorable one of the bunch for me. I very easily could have just typed up something for this one that night because I definitely had plenty of things to say about it but I think also really wanted to be able to gather my thoughts on it properly. Because there is a lot to consider about it imo. On one hand, I actually think it was a pretty solid directorial debut by Zoë. If nothing else, at least for style. Visually, it's a dream. The music cues on-point. The cast is wonderful. It's a movie with some memorable moments for sure. There are plenty of positives I think. And yet, I do gotta agree with the people who say those positives don't make the most solid whole. Just because the messaging does feel a bit wobbly, mostly since it feels like she was trying to tackle a lot of things all at once while also trying to maintain a fun vibe as well. So, the tone is gonna feel off for some people. I was mostly okay with it cuz I did see it as trying to be a bit tongue-in-cheek. But it is interesting because it does feel like she meant for it to be like this feminist manifesto but it also never really digs as deep as it could have so it comes off as insincere. Also, people are gonna have some thoughts on those flashbacks... (If you know, you know) Because I do appreciate that the women got to rightfully kick some ass near the end, but then the ending is probably the most divisive thing about the whole film. I'm kinda stuck on it tbh cuz it feels like it's meant to be a girlboss move but it's also like, ummm sure?? I have so many mixed feelings about this movie. Some of it is fun, some of it's unpleasant. It's very flawed and yet, well-made. A bit of an all-style, not much substance kinda movie to be honest. On top of that, it feels like it pulls a lot of things from other movies in a rather not-very-subtle way so not necessarily the most original yet how it was handled felt fresh enough with certain choices. So, I don't know. I continue to be split on things. XD Such a ploarizing movie. Gotta say though, Naomi Ackie is 100% a star in this. Great choice as the lead cuz I was invested with her. Also, anyone who knows that I enjoyed Hit Man, should know that Adria Arjona is my current girl crush. lol Loved how badass she was in this. I feel like Channing wasn't a bad choice as the villain since I do think he's meant to be more charming but totally swarmy than outright evil but I do see where the criticism is coming from saying he was still playing it a little too nice. But then I kinda felt like that was him playing it more grounded anyway since let's be real, most villains don't see themselves as villains. They just believe they're entitled to act the way they do cuz they're selfish. But yeah, all the flaws aside, this one could get an honorable mention slot in the rankings because it did leave an impression. Not all great but I can't pretend I didn't enjoy a decent amount of it either. So, yeah, long review for this one, sorry. lol

[galaxy-brain-rasslin]

Thoughts on AEW: All In 2024

Just my thoughts on the show, as well as the Zero Hour preceding it. Obviously, there will be spoilers.

ZERO HOUR

16-Man Tag Match: Tommy Billington, Kip Sabian, Rocky Romero, Kyle Fletcher, Lio Rush, Action Andretti, and Top Flight (Darius Martin and Dante Martin) vs Jay Lethal, Satnam Singh, Anthony Ogogo, Ariya Daivari, Private Party (Isiah Kassidy and Marq Quen), and The Dark Order (John Silver and Alex Reynolds)

I'll be completely honest, I forgot this match even happened.

Tony seems to like to do these random-ass, giant, multi-man matches during the pre-shows.

I assume this is probably just so these guys could get a PPV pay day or something.

Absolutely one of the matches on the show.

Mixed Tag Match: Willow Nightingale and Tomohiro Ishii vs Kris Statlander and Stokley Hathaway

I love Willow. She's one of my favorites.

I'm still not over Statlander betraying Willow.

I have been loving Ishii just hanging around AEW having random matches

LMAO Stokely slammed Ishii.

Legitimately fun match. Willow and Ishii work well together, despite Ishii being just some kind of man-shaped refrigerator with no neck

10-Man Tag Match: The Von Erichs (Marshall Von Erich and Ross Von Erich), Sammy Guevara, Katsuyori Shibata, and Dustin Rhodes vs Undisputed Kingdom (Matt Taven and Mike Bennett) and Cage of Agony (Bishop Kaun, Brian Cage, and Toa Liona)

lmao Sammy and Brian Cage both have Wolverine-themed gear. This feels like those scenes in shows where two girls show up to the same party wearing the same dress.

I am always a fan of Shibata wrestling on my television or other device.

Bishop Kaun and Toa Liona are so fucking cool.

I love that Dustin is walking around with two belts. And that he's still able to go as good as he does.

This was a fun match.

Interlude

Saraya and Harley Cameron are genuinely entertaining as heels. Nobody can harass the cameraman quite like Saraya.

I do not want to keep hearing Ronnie Radke. Please stop.

It's cool that they've brought Saraya's whole family back this year.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT JAMIE HAYTER IS BACK. LET'S FUCKING GO DUDE.

HELL YEAH. FUCK YEAH.

I missed Jamie a bit.

ALL IN

Four-Way Ladder Match, AEW Trios Championship: The Patriarchy (c) (Christian Cage, Nick Wayne, Killswitch) vs Bang Bang Gang (Juice Robinson, Austin Gunn, Colten Gunn) vs House of Black (Malakai Black, Brodie King, Buddy Matthews) vs PAC and Claudio Castagnoli and Wheeler Yuta

Presumably PAC/Claudio/Wheeler was actually going to be Death Triangle originally. But with Penta and Fenix on their way out, they probably had to change that.

They actually did everyone's entrance during Zero Hour, which I thought was really cool.

This match was absolutely ridiculous.

Christian Cage ran to the back, like, immediately lmao

And then showed back up to try to climb a ladder.

HoB continues to be very, very cool and very scary.

Juice Robinson is still my favorite wrestling goblin.

KILLSWITCH HELD CHRISTIAN BACK FROM GETTING THE BELTS??

PAC, Claudio, and Yuta?? The PACPool Combat Club?? They're the winners?

I had fun. Everyone in this is great and genuinely entertaining.

AEW Women's Championship: "Timeless" Toni Storm (c) vs "The Glamour" Mariah May

This is still one of the messiest break-ups I've ever seen in wrestling.

Genuinely great match.

Mariah's sadistic bisexual gimmick is fantastic.

I assumed there'd be blood, because there was white clothing. I'm glad my assumption was validated. This match benefited greatly from bleeding. It added a lot to the, well, blood feud.

Toni not only lost the belt, but she lost to her own finishing move. The sheer disrespect done by Mariah was a thing of beauty.

I can't wait to see Mariah's reign.

I can't wait to see what Toni does next.

FTW Championship: "The Learning Tree" Chris Jericho (c) vs Hook

The Learning Tree is such a goofy gimmick.

If I wasn't just tired of Jericho, I'd probably enjoy this more.

Why is Hook wearing kinesio tape over his eye? Does he not know about eye patches?

I'm genuinely so glad that they both managed to avoid hitting any of those cricket balls when doing suplexes, etc.

HOLY SHIT TAZ PUT THE TAZMISSION ON BRYAN KEITH.

HOOK GOT THE BELT BACK.

I love seeing Taz trying to hold back being a Proud Dad during Hook's matches.

Three-Way Tag Team Match, AEW World Tag Team Championship: The Young Bucks (c) (Matthew and Nicholas Jackson) vs FTR (Dax Harwood and Cash Wheeler) vs The Acclaimed (Max Caster and Anthony Bowens)

I don't know who I want to win, but it's none of these teams.

Max being an obnoxious edgelord on the internet and in his raps has really soured me on The Acclaimed, which sucks, because they're both good.

This was a genuinely fun match.

As much as I'm kind of tired of FTR vs Bucks, and The Acclaimed, all six of these dudes are still really good and kept me invested in the match.

Not really surprised that the Bucks won.

Oh shit, Grizzled Young Veterans?? I've heard great things about them. I wonder if they're going to be the ones to take the belts off of the Bucks.

Casino Gauntlet Battle Royale:

Started off with Orange Cassidy vs Okada.

Okada's comedic shithole heel role has been fantastic and was put to great use here

OH SHIT WHAT THE FUCK NIGEL MCGUINESS IS IN THIS???

Nigel clearly is returning to action so he can personally retire Danielson himself

OH SHIT IT'S HANGMAD. AND JARRETT.

AND WHAT THE FUCK ITS RICOCHET. I knew he was signed, but it's still awesome to see him.

lmao Christian limping to the ring.

Killswitch is back to being Luchasaurus??

THAT FUCKING DINOSAUR JUST GAVE CHRISTIAN THE WIN LMFAO. What the hell is going on here. Where are they even going with this.

I still enjoyed it. I like the random times, and that it can effectively end at any time.

AEW International AMERICAN Championship: MJF (c) vs Will Ospreay

Find someone who loves you as much Will loves Assassin's Creed.

Max's USA gimmick has been the single most obnoxious thing in AEW for a bit, but I love it.

Ospreay is so fucking good, dude. MJF is so fucking good. These dudes are so good, dude.

OH SHIT DANIEL GARCIA IS BACK. Fuck yeah! I love Danny, and he's looking all serious.

WILL OSPREAY WINS BRUV.

AND THE CHAMPIONSHIP IS BACK TO THE INTERNATIONAL TITLE BRUV

Solid as hell match, Bruv/10.

AEW TBS Championship: Mercedes Moné (c) vs Dr. Britt Baker, DMD.

This match is a death spot, Christ.

Considering she had some serious back problems, and a mini-stroke, and has been out of action for 10 months, I'm genuinely glad to see Baker back.

Mercedes is such an obnoxious heel, I love it.

C O R G I S

Both Britt and Mercedes with the Eddie callbacks

Britt looking right into the camera to smile with Kamille gets ejected was beautiful stuff.

I am begging Mercedes to get a better finisher.

I don't know if it was ring rust, or a lack of real chemistry with the two, but this was not the best match.

I enjoyed it, but it was still definitely one of the matches of all time.

As I'm writing this some time after the event, I also want to say that I am so fucking sick of the discourse about this match being either "Mercedes is the worst wrestler ever' or "Britt is the worst wrestler ever'. This shit has nuance for fuck's sake.

Coffin Match, AEW TNT Championship: Jack Perry (c) vs Darby Allin

Jack's custom belt looks so cool. I can't believe the dude, like, forged that shit himself.

Darby fucking glued thumbtacks to his goddamn face.

Nobody dies like Darby.

This shit is brutal.

Jack has a fucking bag of glass lmao

THE "CRY ME A RIVER" CHANTS LMAOOO

Turns out the way to beat Darby in a coffin match is to bind him, put him in a body bag, and put the bag in the coffin.

The Bucks (with a freshly-shaved Nicholas) show up with gasoline to burn Darby and the casket.

IT'S STIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING

I've said it before, find someone who loves you as much as Tony Schiavone loves Sting

Title vs Career, AEW World Championship: Swerve Strickland (c) vs Bryan Danielson

Of course you give Danielson this fantastic video package about his career.

Of course you give Danielson "The Final Countdown" for his entrance.

Swerve Strickland continues to be the coolest motherfucker alive in pro wrestling today.

Swerve is working this match like he's actually trying to kill Danielson. It's beautiful.

Beating Danielson up in front of his children is monstrous. I love it.

Swerve took a busaiku knee and brushed his fucking shoulder off.

I love how Bryan does an Injury spot in every fucking match, and I know it's A Thing, but every goddamn time there's part of me that's like "Oh shit" because he's that fucking convincing.

IT'S HANGMAD AGAIN.

Oh shit, Bryan is getting the comeback.

Bryan absorbing kicks while fucking staring at his family and saying "I love you" was fucking glorious.

SWERVE TAPPED. BRYAN IS THE FUCKING AEW CHAMPION.

If this had been his retirement match, it would have been an absolutely perfect send-off for the man. Dude got the absolute shit kicked out of him.

I didn't even really want Danielson to win, but I was still, like, rooting for him toward the end there.

Like seriously, Bryan Danielson is one of the greatest pro wrestlers of all time. The dude is amazing.

I am still genuinely surprised that Tony somehow talked Danielson into winning the belt, though.

[wrestlingwiththoughts]

AEW/NJPW Forbidden Door 2024 Live Impressions

After a long trip out to UBS Arena and an even longer trip home, I bring you live impressions of Forbidden Door 2024.

The trip out was fairly easy: 2 subways got me to the Q2 bus, which got me to the arena bus depot. Only lightly dampened by rain, I got through arena security without a hassle (although it sounded like the security guards and their supervisor had some disagreements about the need to check the clear fanny pack of a guest with autism) and found my seat, which was close enough that I could feel the pyrotechnics on my face but far enough that I wouldn't be singed. I had good sightlines for the entrance ramp and the ring, and the seats were spacious and comfortable. I have no complaints about UBS Arena other than their extortionary food and drink prices, which feel standard to most venues.

A. Kyle Fletcher vs. Serpentico

I arrived just as Serpentico made his entrance, and this ROH-level match was a fine Zero Hour opener. I hope the commentary laid out the head canon that I was building for this match: Fletcher was upset at losing his ROH World TV Championship to Atlantis Jr. on the June 28, 2024 CMLL show at Arena Mexico, so he wanted to beat up the nearest masked wrestler. Serpentico made a fine sparring partner as Fletcher made quick work of him, and I'm glad that Fletcher's hair is looking better and that he's keeping the top corner turnbuckle brainbuster alive as a devastating finisher. It helps to buoy Fletcher after losing to Atlantis Jr. and keeps him in mind for later in the show.

B. Kings of the Black Throne Honoring the House of Black (Malakai Black and Brody King) d. Gabe Kidd and Roderick Strong w/Gedo, Matt Taven, and Michael Bennett, Tomohiro Ishii and Kyle O’Reilly, and Private Party (Quen and Zay)

I came away from this match with reinvigorated interest in O’Reilly, who hadn't really impressed me on TV other than his recent match with Will Ospreay, Brody King, and surprisingly Gabe Kidd. We can start with Kidd, who seemed like a good fit for the rude dumb jock that Strong tried to be back in the No Remorse Corps days. He was sharp in his offense, and I was far enough that I couldn't tell if he were cursing up a storm, so I was spared his verbal assault. Brody King looks like a giant compared to the others in this match, and he and Black have great tandem offense and timing. Ishii played the hits in his limited time in the ring, but I was heartened about the crowd when I heard the reception that they gave him at his entrance. Even Private Party got the crowd going with their well worn offense. The match over-delivered even as it fell into tropes with Kidd and Strong bickering outside of the ring to set up Private Party's dive sequence. This raised my hopes for the crowd for the night.

C. Willow Nightingale & Tam Nakano d. Kris Statlander & Momo Watanabe

Here's where my doubts about the crowd and how hard it was to start chants in the arena began. Neither Nakano nor Watanabe got their own entrance music because the production team (rightly, as it turned out) guessed that the crowd would give them no ovation, and it would be better for timing and atmosphere if they just came out with their AEW roster partners instead. The crowd loved Nightingale, and they were loud in their interest to see Statlander and Nightingale fight. Statlander, for her part, played the usual heel who would duck Nightingale when she could and would get overwhelmed by Nightingale one-on-one. Nakano and Watanabe played their hits at a slower pace than we've seen in the past; they definitely went faster in their respective matches at Stardom American Dream in the Keystone State during this year's WrestleMania weekend. Nakano took a noticeable pause to set up the finishing bridging German suplex, but it looked great when it was used to pin Watanabe.

D. Mariah May w/Toni Storm d. Saraya w/Harley Cameron

I hope they have May do more and let her take control in her matches soon. Saraya tried her best to get the crowd's attention during her control segment, but they're quite dull to sit through and wait for May's comeback. I liked that May fought out of the setup for Saraya's complicated submission, which Saraya used to defeat May in a singles match not long ago. May won with a roll-up that advances the tournament plot but not May's development as a wrestler to the AEW crowd. I appreciated that Toni Storm seemed to enjoy the win over her former Outcast squadmates.

E. Mistico and The Lucha Brothers (Rey Fenix and Penta El Zero Miedo) d. Los Ingobernables de Japon (Titan, Yota Tsuji, Hiromu Takahashi)

I foolishly picked the break after May vs. Saraya to be robbed by UBS Arena for food and drink, so I missed everyone's entrance except for Mistico's. Since the crowd didn't seem to know LIJ other than Takahashi, they were fairly quiet for them throughout the match. On the other hand, the crowd knew and appreciated Mistico, even though I couldn't get a chant for Mistico to start. (This was when I first noticed that the child across the aisle from my seat would look at me with puzzlement every time I chanted for someone.) Fenix is always a good performer, and he had a fun opening sequence with Titan as they went near full speed. Penta tried hard in his sequence with Tsuji, which is all you can ask for, and Tsuji looked physically imposing. The star of the match, of course, is Mistico, particularly when he takes the beating from all three LIJ members. He does just enough to keep you engaged while is battered, and he knows exactly when to start his comeback. You shouldn't need me to tell you how good Mistico is.

At around the end of the match, a woman carrying a large "MJF Hometown Boy" walked along the floor circumference, which was a splash of cold water reminder that I'm stuck in Long Island in a heavily pro-MJF crowd. Of course, I took solace in the wisdom that it takes just one voice in the wilderness to start a movement.

1. MJF d. Hechicero

Even as someone who thinks that MJF relies too heavily on his cheating shtick, I'd have to concede that MJF was bearable here. When Hechicero had a window, he targeted MJF's arm in visually interesting and unique ways, and he even got MJF to grapple with him on the mat. It was about as much as I could ask for from an MJF vs. Hechicero match, and it met my (admittedly low) expectations.

2. The Elite (Kazuchika Okada, Matthew Jackson, and Nicholas Jackson) d. The Acclaimed (Max Caster and Anthony Bowens) and Hiroshi Tanahashi

Okada received his own entrance, which is good, and had no opening to say "Bitch" into a microphone, which is better. The Elite started with a fun little campaign attack ad directed against Tanahashi playing off of how he is NJPW's president. Unfortunately for the Bucks and Max Caster, it was really hard to hear any spoken words from my seat. Visual gags like blurring out Kenny Omega's face in the Elite's video worked. Caster's rap got less acclaim would have gotten had the audio been more intelligible. Watching Tanahashi move around with sleeves covering arms that cannot be as impressive as they once were due to injury was mostly wistful. This was slow, and one could speculate if this was to keep the pace at a level that Tanahashi could match. I also wonder if the Elite's gimmick is to cover the fact that the Bucks just can't go as fast as they once could. The crowd cheered for the Okada vs. Tanahashi face-off near the end of the match, so I supposed it accomplished the goal of giving the crowd that sequence once more. Finally, what exactly does Max Caster bring to the table for his team? Caster was asked to be in the peril spot, and he is not convincing garnering sympathy under danger. Bowens plays the face in peril and the hot tag better than Caster. Bowens is also an energetic speaker, looks great, and has a great life story. Draw your own conclusion about what I wish for the Acclaimed.

3. Bryan Danielson d. Shingo Takagi

Bryan Danielson is my favorite wrestler of all time. Shingo Takagi is not far from my personal list. I had extremely high expectations for this match, and the match exceeded my expectations. So much positivity then makes the negative seem larger in contrast, which means that I have to focus on how much I dislike the focus on Danielson's supposed medical fragility. I understand that it's an easy route to sympathy, but involving the ringside doctor in Danielson's selling is unnecessary and broke the match's momentum. Because Danielson and Takagi are pro wrestling masters, they were able to recapture the energy, but I would contend that the decision to have Danielson writhe in pain ringside for so long over-eggs this pudding. I won't complain about it too much since the pudding is still good, but it could be better had the touch been more deft.

4. Toni Storm w/Luther and Mariah May d. Mina Shirakawa

This was a test of my spirit's generosity. Should I hammer Storm, whose current gimmick is not to my tastes, because she displayed nothing from all of the work that Shirakawa did to damage her knees? Should I instead do the work for them and tell myself that Shirakawa stopped attacking Storm's knees because she saw that it wasn't working, so she moved to throwing her most dangerous moves at Storm? Given that I wasn't bored by the match and that I didn't have to hear Storm's annoying over-pronunciation and insistence on throwing out words like "tits" to try to get a giggle from the audience, I suppose I should lean toward generosity. The three women's story ends with a shared kiss, and hopefully we are closer to May's eventual betrayal and victory over Storm.

5. Zack Sabre Jr. d. Orange Cassidy

When Evolve was still a going concern rather than a line item in TKO Group Holdings' balance sheet, Zack Sabre Jr. was the main reason I would attend Evolve's shows. His matches reward paying close attention and watching carefully as slight adjustments in angle would result in escape from or devastation done to his opponents. That said, I appreciated the respect given to Cassidy's own bonafides as a grappler. These two worked magic together in seamless sequences of struggle for leverage, and the pace was brisk. I would not have guessed that this match was sixteen minutes long. I am fairly confident that they had the overhead screens on for this match, which the crowd in the higher level seats would have needed to see the ways that Sabre and Cassidy bent each other. My heart won't let me admit it fully, but I think this was a better match than Danielson vs. Takagi.

6. Hook, Katsuyori Shibata, and Samoa Joe d. The Learning Tree (Chris Jericho and Big Bill) and Jeff Cobb

I respect Chris Jericho for finding another gimmick that gets him attention from the crowd, but I respect the crowd's chant of "Please retire" directed at him at the match's start even more. I had thought that this match could have been swapped for one of the Zero Hour matches, and I stand by that thought. That said, this exceeded my expectations, and I liked every pairing that the match provided, even Hook vs. Jericho. You think you comprehend how large Big Bill is, but you don't truly understand until you've seen him in person, even at a distance. Joe and Cobb gave the crowd a chance to chant "beef," so that was nice. Hopefully, Hook is allowed to move on from Jericho after beating him with the Judas Effect. It was very funny watching Shibata choke out Bill in the corner while Joe was hanging off of Cobb's neck outside the ring so Hook could finish the match.

7. Jack Perry d. Darius Martin, Lio Rush, Mark Briscoe, El Phantasmo, and Konosuke Takeshita

As a stunt show, this was spectacular. As a match, I liked the pairings that we got: Lio Rush vs. Jack Perry, Lio Rush vs. El Phantasmo, Lio Rush vs. Mark Briscoe, Darius Martin vs. Lio Rush, and Darius Martin vs. Konosuke Takeshita. As a plot point, I wish that we didn't have to get to the point where every member of the Elite, including the mystery member that they will introduce into the Owen Hart Tournament, must have a title to prove their dominance and threat. The crowd clamored for Takeshita to win; it reached a fever pitch every time it seemed like he was close to ascending the ladder. Instead, the story (and politics, since Takeshita couldn't carry a secondary title with him to NJPW's G1 tournament this year) must be served.

8. Mercedes Mone d. Stephanie Vaquer

The discourse, I'm sure, will be about the crowd, which went from chanting "CEO" to support Mone to chanting for Vaquer to chanting "Fuck the Celtics" against Mone. It's a Long Island crowd chanting against a Black woman, so race and gender would have to be considered too. I am of the belief that the crowd has the right to chant what they like as long as they aren't abusive to the performers, and I don't think disparaging a wrestler's hometown basketball team crosses that line. Instead, I think the crowd's turn and eventual animosity gave the match a sharp edge, especially when Vaquer was on offense. Vaquer was very impressive, and Mone seemed not too far from her peak, at least in the version I keep in memory. And yes, there were moments where they seemed to miscommunicate and get slightly lost, but it didn't feel particularly sloppy.

Britt Baker's return was to a loud ovation, and I like the idea that we have two women who are competing to prove that they're the best. I just am not convinced that Baker can play a sympathetic role, and Mone is better as the arrogant antagonist.

9. Tetsuya Naito d. Jon Moxley

While the other matches either met or exceeded my expectations, this was by far the most underwhelming. Naito looked slow and Moxley seemed bored. The crowd was quiet, but I think that's down to the fact that neither man gave the crowd anything about which they could be excited. Time seemed to stand still when Naito set up for the Destino.

Admittedly, I don't like lackadaisical characters like Naito. I need to feel wrestlers' urgency, and though I understand Naito's long character history and how he uses that lack of energy to lull the crowd and his opponent until he flips the switch, I just don't think there's a variation of that formula, particularly from Naito, that can still interest me.

Again, it's easy to blame the crowd for the cool reception that this match received because the possibility that the wrestlers didn't give the crowd a reason to be hot seems too harsh. So, we have to speculate that who makes up AEW crowds has changed because NJPW wrestlers used to receive great acclaim even in cameos. I would instead direct attention to structural factors, like the fact that NJPW runs more shows in the United States now, so their appearances are more common. Or the fact that NJPW isn't as popular in the United States as they had been in the past. Or the fact that, compared to the careful attention that some of the other, hotter matches received, this match wasn't as emphasized on AEW programming. I would point to the reception that Mistico, a famous wrestler who hasn't been on AEW TV, received and hold that against the idea that this show's crowd is to blame for how cold this match felt.

10. Swerve Strickland d. Will Ospreay

After the crowd took a breather in the last match, they were energized for this match. The crowd was engaged from the opening strains of Ospreay's theme, and the high energy was palpable from the opening bell when the crowd gave the two a standing ovation. The anticipation for this match was that high (helped by the kind of focus that Naito vs. Moxley didn't get on AEW TV), and the two created a spectacle for the crowd. I had hoped that Ospreay would win, and I wasn't disappointed when he lost because it felt like Strickland earned his victory. I had expected that Don Callis would be involved in the match at some point, but his appearance and subsequent melodrama didn't dampen the match for me. Instead, it gave Ospreay an unequivocal moral hero moment, where he turned his back on Callis's nefarious influence. That choice was not the reason that he lost; instead, Ospreay, exhausted by the match, lost because he was beaten by the better wrestler. The fact that Ospreay pinned Strickland after accidentally knocking out the referee and could claim that he had beaten Strickland is a minor point; Ospreay himself was responsible for taking the referee out, so it was his fault that he lost even there.

From there, it was the long journey home that involved two buses passing by because they were full, getting off at the wrong bus stop, heading to the wrong train platform, watching a woman throw up in the subway car when I eventually got on the right trains home, and awkwardly averting my eyes from the two teenagers making out in a subway car at 2:30 am. None of that dampened my enjoyment from the show.

[mariamakeslemons]

Kinktober 2024: Day 31 Free For All

Warning: Reader is gender neutral, aftersex and mild after care, short and abrupt ending

You all lay on the California king bed that you and John had managed to get with budgeting, a light film of sweat covering all of you along with spit, cum, and a little blood. You look to one side to see John cockwarming using Johnny’s ass and your other side has Simon whispering softly to Kyle. Scattered across the bed, toys and condoms lay used around the five of you. You take a breath and struggle up, already trying to make your brain shift back to normal in hopes of being able to clean up.

“Ah, nae yer nae,” Johnny slurs, pulling himself off John’s cock to wrap his arms around your waist and pout up at you, “Nae leavin’ us ye’.”

“Clean,” is all you can say to explain. John scoffs, sliding closer to you while Johnny’s hand trails down to shove his fingers into your entrance, which is still oozing cum.

“How ‘bout y’ try that again with more words,” John scolds, his hand moving up to your mouth. You part your lips and he starts to thrust his fingers in and out, practically petting your tongue. Two pairs of hands come from behind you, the larger settling on your hips and squeeze while the other pair start to play with your chest.

“Think they need some aftercare too,” Kyle teases, sounding more like himself instead of the fucked out version that you had ridden at Simon’s command just minutes before. You blink slowly as you suckle on John’s fingers, sliding right back into that soft and fuzzy state that John can always get you in. John hums, drawing out his fingers and smirking when you whine sadly and lean after his fingers.

“Think so,” Simon rumbles, reaching over Kyle to drag you toward them. You turn your head and press kisses to Kyle’s face, melting happily as he returns the affection while Simon massages your hip. You feel a hair chest sidle up behind you, Johnny’s head settling on your shoulder to nuzzle against your cheek.

“Bonnie thin’,” he coos playfully, snickering when you turn and nip at his nose in retaliation of being called a thing. John swats his ass before leaning over him to kiss your cheek.

“Don’ listen t’ him, Love,” John assures you, “He’s a muppet.”

“A mutt,” you mumble, giggling when Johnny showers you in light nips and kisses in his own retaliation.

“She’s not wrong, bruv,” Kyle agrees. Johnny pouts before rolling on top of you to get to Kyle. You yelp while Simon clicks his tongue and John growls.

“Get off ‘em, Pup,” John orders, swatting at Johnny’s ass, making him yelp. Johnny does, purposefully rolling off you and onto Kyle. John groans, pulling you toward him as Simon, Johnny, and Kyle end up as a tangle of limbs on the other side of the bed.

“Fuckin’ muppets,” John grumbles, cuddling you close and pressing his nose to your hair. You hum, letting your eyes flutter closed as you enjoy the feeling of John’s burly arms around you.

“Oi! Gi’ ‘em back!” Johnny whines, disentangling himself from Simon and Kyle to make grabby hands at you.

“Should’ve behaved,” John sniffs, pulling you closer. You nuzzle him closer, letting their arguing wash over you. Maybe you’ll wait to clean up, this is very comfortable.